The Thing

• Artist: SwiftyCalico
• Description: Just something i pieced together!!!
• Date: 10/13/2008
• Tags: thing

I slammed the door. Chills ran down my back as it slowly made its way up the stairs. It was at the top, and walked through the door. Was it a ghost? No, it couldn't be! I ran to the window and slammed it open. I jumped and landed in my moms lavender. I wasn't as startled when I saw it floating its way out the window. I suddenly screamed, I saw my boy friend Jacob hanging from a noose all bloody with bullet holes. This vacation has turned into a living hell! The things eyes turned red. I turned around. Mom pulled in the driveway. I yelled and screamed 'Get away! Get away!' over and over. It started chanting 'Wake up! Wake up! Wakeeee upppp!' I suddenly awoke, realizing it was all a dream, and Jacob was fine. He asked if I was alright, I looked uncomfortable. All I said to him was to never leave me. He hugged me and said no, never. We laid down together in my bed, and went to sleep. The only bad thing was, the thing!!!!!!!!

Comments

[Mentalpatient128]

i think it was a good story but it was a bit... dull i think is the right word, maybe u could put it some more discription or sumin? but over all i would say 4/5

[AkaiRedChan]

Hmm... I would say this has an interesting plot but it does not have too much of a rhythmic flow. Also, it really bothers me when people go "eeeeeessssscccccaaaaappppppeeeeee" when you can just say escape. I'm sure there's a reason about doing such a thing but... yeah. It's an eye sore than making impact. Also, the exclamation marks at the end should limit itself to at most three. 3/5 because of good plot but can be expressed better.