• Good Morning Reflection


    I'm dead it seems, that’s where the story begins, a pretty odd place to start to tell the truth. It’s at the point where there’s no more story to happen, only to reminisce about the past. But like they say, 'The end of one thing is the start of something new.' Or at least that’s what I hear and I’m not old enough to have bad hearing. Ah, life was like a dream and I’m thinking about my last moments alive. Sure, I’d have hoped I went out with a bang, in a way that I’d be remembered for the rest of time as someone great, but I went out small and foolish, throwing my life away for a stranger on a sharp sudden impulse.I'm an idiot. A fool. A failure. A nobody.

    Staring aimlessly at the ceiling, I’d never thought of the afterlife being the same thing as the life itself. After I died; and I knew it from the odd feeling I’d never experienced before, I awoke to glowing lights in the air that looked like fire flies. It was my room; I awoke in my bed, like I had just awoken from a nightmare and became conscious in a dream. The whole world seemed like it had lost color, all except for the lights oddly shimmering around me in a green glow. I stepped up from my bed and walked over to my computer which seemed to be on and somehow beckoning me. After tapping the mouse once, the screen flashed on and I saw something familiar. It was an e-mail, When I was alive I had exchanged them daily with a good friend from Canada. She was the person I shared all of my secrets with and she shared hers with me. I hadn’t stopped to wonder why the e-mail was there, in this Grey world that was so similar to my own and yet every feeling of life seemed foreign to me. Finally it opened, and a light of pure white shined out of the computer for a mere second, it felt so warm, the first real feeling I had felt in this new existence, something that would have been expected in a fairy tale. I was blinded by the light and fell back onto my bed. By the time I could see again my blurry vision slowly came to focus on the silhouette of a mysterious girl sitting in my computer chair staring at me. I tried to sit up, but something about that light had a lasting affect that subdued me and sapped me of energy. I couldn’t even speak when the soft voice echoed across the empty room.

    “Do you remember when we met Dylan? It was a nice day, and I never thought we’d become close at first… But there was something about you.” I sat there struggling to respond, who was this girl, I wondered? Why did she appear before me like this? Was she perhaps an angel here to take me to heaven? She seemed patient, unwavering in her stare as she waited for my response. It felt like she could wait an eternity if it took that long for me to say something. A soft smile was on her lips, which was the only thing I could concentrate on for the time being.

    “Who... Who are you?” It was a struggle to speak, my energy was barren. I was almost positive I had never heard that voice before in my life.

    “You changed my life after I got to know you, it’s not surprising you don’t realize who I am though since you’ve never seen me before. Do you want to know my name?” She spoke with a very soft tone, something soothing and kind, and yet I felt like it was mocking me. It was obvious that when she came I suddenly couldn’t speak well, so I concluded it was her doing. Under that kind voice I felt a sinister mind, and all I did was stare back, unwilling to speak. The silhouetted person sat forward and put elbow to knee as if to position her self for an extended visit, and although I couldn’t see through her inhuman shade, I could feel her eyes burning right into mine. Is she going to speak? What does she want from me? How do I know her?, my thoughts flew through my head one by one in a chaotic order, but somehow other than the questions I somehow felt a period of utter relaxation. I decided to finally respond to her question as it was apparent we wouldn’t get anywhere without me doing so.
    “Yeah, Introductions are a necessity in a conversation between strangers after all” I noted with slight annoyance peeking through my voice. I slightly surprised my self by the sudden ease I had speaking, but disregarded it. I heard a sigh and she whispered the name to me, the only reason I was able to hear it was because there was nothing else but utter silence in this entire world it seemed.
    "Jibril." I sat there shocked by it, confusion and understanding came into me all at once. A most unexpected turn of events. Jibril was the name of my pen pal from Canada.
    "Wait, what?! You lost me there. I'm dead aren't I? You aren't, so why are you here? Stop being so ambiguous, whats going on here?" I said with the slightest bit of frustration, raising my voice just a tad.
    "I'm dead, everyone dies after all... But I'm not really dead. A very confusing thing, that's the type of thing it is." She said in a low, almost whisper.
    "Huh? This is just odd, How about clearing the confusion, hm?" There was more of a determined air about me now.
    "It's called confusion because its hard to clear up", she noted bluntly "But I suppose I have to, now don't I?" She said with a sigh. I just nodded, slowly sitting up. This was a weird place, with weird things that slowly started to make some kind of sense. I had guessed that she was a silhouette to me because I had never seen her before in life, that much I got... And perhaps that voice was artificial as well. Either way, nothing seemed real. I wasn't even convinced she was who she was telling me she was.
    "This is a place of reflection. A reflection of you're life. A reflection of your world. Everything in this place is made of nothing but reflection, your last chance to stare into it before you move on to something new. Your last chance to understand it." She explained, somehow making it sound like she was a guide and I was the tourist, but I didn't dislike it."
    "Wow, that's pretty deep. But I guess it is what it is. I'm still confused though, where do I go from here and why is Jibril the person that's here. I mean if your going to guide me through the afterlife like this, why not a relative or something along those lines? Why not an angel or a stranger?" I asked. As I thought about it more, all of the sense she brought to the matter was just constantly replaced by more confusion. Death really was a confusing matter, perhaps because I've never experienced it before.
    "Humans are very inquisitive by nature and always seeking answers, You're sharp as a club though. I'm here because your good for an occasional chat, period. You think things are confusing because your human, pretend to be a dog and make things less complicated for yourself" She uttered sarcastically.
    "No reason to be a smart a**, I'm a very confused guy right now. Ha, its my first experience dying if ya didn't realize." I retorted back. She didn't seem like the person I knew, but then again I've never actually talked to her face to face. Its like strangers who know a lot about each other, just completely awkward. This bad a** personality on such a soft voice, interesting.
    "Woof, woof. now can ya tell me what I'm supposed to be doing already? I haven't done much anything important in my time alive, so this shouldn't take long right?" I said with a more comfortable attitude and a smirk. She laughed sarcastically and the shadow stood up without another moments notice.
    "Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived", She spoke like a goddess reciting something out of a holy scripture or something along those lines, "Someone important said that once... Uhm, I think it was Buddha." Jibril noted, as I let out a sigh. I was right, text's like that are things that sound too composed and awkward if not read from a book or spoken by a man with a long beard.
    "Hm? What's wrong? Eh, it doesn't matter, the point of that quote is that the amount of time you spent living isn't important, You should cherish the moments that you had living it is all." She said while tilting her head up in a very thoughtful way.
    "You seem unsure of yourself. Are ya sure your not just making up a bunch of bull to sound cool?" I said looking up at her. She shook her head and giggled.
    "Yeah, I'm not too divine myself so I guess someone like Buddha isn't the person for me to be quoting. That's life though, You try different things to see how they work out for you. By the time you've reached you're end at least something you've said must've helped someone out in that case."
    "Ah I see, I doubt I've said anything that important though. Trying to act mature and actually being mature are different things ya know. I guess I just kicked the bucket too soon", I scratched my head still wondering how long this was gonna be. I was sorta enjoying spending time here though, so I didn't mind being patient, had no where else to go any how. I heard something odd in that moment though, it was a sniffling sound, Is she crying behind that unknown wall of darkness?
    "Dylan! You're as blunt as acupuncture, I'm here because you've touched me with your words! I'm not someone you've hung out with or seen everyday, you can't go around saying you've never said anything important, because I know you have! I've never been able to go to school with you or play tag with you or do anything at all, but you were important to me and have altered a lot of things about my life because of things you've said. You're a human, now stop thinking like a dog and look a little deeper into things! Find those details that make you see just how important you are dammit."
    "..." I sat there unable to speak. Her voice was quivering the whole time she spoke. I felt low for a moment but I understood what she meant. The fact she could say something like that so dramatically showed me some things I hadn't realized previously. Before I realized it though she was gone. I jumped up from my seated position and looked around, but I knew I wouldn't find her.
    "Each one of these lights represents a miracle. Something you've done, even though you haven't realized it from you're daily actions. Each one of these lights represents a moment in time that you've altered someones life. Thinking like a dog or human doesn't matter, thinking cup half full does" I heard Jibril in an almost omniscient way. I didn't see her anywhere but I heard her clearly. Glancing around the room and soaking in what she said I gasped. The little green lights, there were hundreds, everywhere. Beyond the curtain outside my window, thousands.