:: The Insect Diary ::

[NecroPlant]

In the darkness, absent of light. The childish cover of a book. Glows with faint writing. Under the innumerable crudely drawn eyes one can faintly make out the word. Diary.

 

[NecroPlant]

Page 1:

____ My Sensei today told me to start writing down my thoughts and what's happening around me. It seems pretty silly but I guess I will. He said that it helps people feel better. Mom yelled at dad yesterday. He said he had an important mission he had to do. I'm not sure what it was exactly. He didn't say. He just told me to keep it a secret between me and him. Not to tell mom because he didn't want her worrying. He said parents sometimes yell at each other when they're worried about one another. I met a nice girl today. Oh, but I can't remember her name. Konoha is so big. I wonder how many names there are? Oh, we learned about clans today! I found out that I was from the aburame clan. I thought it was a bit weird that all my friends who also came from clans had the same last names as the clans. Sensei said just because my last name was different didn't mean that I wasn't part of the clan. In fact he said a lot of people from different clans don't have the same last name as the clan. Maybe I should name all my beetles? I think I'll name one Denbu. Kuku. Then I could ask everyone if they want to see my Denbu.

 

[NecroPlant]

The Diary remains empty for a good several pages without any information aside from spider and insect trivia. In the place of where there would be the secretive text the following pages seemed crumply and the text illegible as if having been dabbed with a wet cloth or rain. The only legible letters being Hurt. Where. Did. and Go. Only later did the text become legible again.

Page 7:
It hurts less now, I've decided I'll keep recording. One of these days, when I'm stronger maybe I'll share it with someone. It's been easier. Thanks to Sukoso. Why did I choose that name? "To Welcome Death" perhaps it was his courage. To oppose her like that. Despite having been so small. He's insane but I suppose we have one thing in common. "To Welcome Death" I gave him that name, yeah. I gave him that name because clearly we both no longer care about our own lives...but that's alright. Because we care about each others. I feel our bond growing ever closer. Since graduation life is hell. Day in and day out. The same. I've grown used to it...and so have they. I'm sure they'll finish picking out the broken glass eventually. My teeth are getting sharper for some reason. I'm lucky she even feeds me. I'm not strong enough. I may never be. But that's alright. I'm getting used to all the hurt that's all that matters. Pretty soon I'm sure it won't even phase me anymore. As long as Sukoso is with me everything will be alright.  

[NecroPlant]

The Diary's contents from then on continues with tales of Sukoso and Kumotake engaging in cavalcade of adventures. However, it is made clear on the 12th page that these adventures never happened. Page 8 entails Kumotake's first mission. Page 9 details the failure of said mission. Page 10 consists of a hunt that occurred in the woods. Page 11 how it yielded a fruitful success but was taken away by carrion birds. Page 12 consists of illegible scribbles.

Page 13:
I need to stop lying to myself. The joyful adventures I had with Sukoso I wrote about never happened. In fact looking back it disgusts me. It's all so gross. I wrote them to sound so pleasant and care free. The realization is sinking in that such things are impossible in real life. Even if they were possible they would end like those stories. In disappointment.  

[NecroPlant]

From pages 13 to 18 a consistent air of self depreciation continues throughout the texts. A few of the pages are caked with a dry dark red ink...or further inspection may be revealed to be blood. Unlike the previous pages these lacked photosensitivity as their inscriptions were blatant as the pages themselves were missing entirely of spider notes. From pages 15-18 the self depreciating texts are all done in this dark red before page nineteen returns to arachnid notes...or the later assuming it was being read in the dark.

Page 19:
Maybe...I'm not so worthless after all. Someone came. A girl...at the time I had assumed everyone at the academy had dubbed me a freak of sorts. It took me awhile but I was able to tell it was her. Kaede. She saw me, my grotesque and disgusting state of being huddled in a ball. The windows were high. She couldn't have found me on accident. SHE made sure such accidents weren't possible. She looked at me she looked back. She reeled her hand back to shatter the window. I...discouraged her. Or rather Sukoso did, as with one look she reeled back ins fear...or perhaps it was disgust. It didn't matter. We we're both disgusting creatures after all.

Page 20:
The next day I hear the door opening from a knock. I hear the familiar voice of my Sensei. At the same time I hear the familiar tomboyish voice of Kaede. She called my sensei. Of all things she could have done, the b***h simply wouldn't let me die in peace...ah, maybe that was a bit harsh. She after all seems to be the first to care at all. But why? It's not like we talked at all. Didn't she have better things to do after graduation than stick her nose where it doesn't belong...of course she did have a habit of that.

Page 21: Sensei's investigation failed. SHE bought enough time for another day. Today consisted of me cleaning the alcohol and piss covered place that was my 'room' and as always when she was put under such duress I wore the nicest monkey suit, had to 'behave' myself, smile for the sensei. As I had always been forced to do. Only something shocked me. Despite this Kaede persisted. She wouldn't back down. It honestly started to piss me off. Until I broke. "IM FINE!" That was the biggest lie I had ever told and to this day the regret burns my insides.

Page 22: It's been three days...I don't think Kaede is coming back. I don't blame her. Why should she...why do I even care...why won't she get out of my head. Why does my chest hurt everytime I think about her...THIS REALLY PISSES ME OFF.

Page 23: I don't deserve friends...she came back...there was no hesitation this time. SHE was in a drunken stupor...and Kaede had no doubt waited for her to be in said stupor. She thusly grabbed me by my arm..I was stubborn...I didn't want to go...I yelled at her again...but...I DIDN'T WANT THIS TO HAPPEN. WHY...DID THIS HAPPEN

Page 24:
Kaede was taken to the hospital...I shouldn't have yelled...Sukoso didn't know any better. I couldn't be mad. If hurting others is what it's going to cost in order to be free of this hell then please just let me burn...I don't..I don't want anyone else to feel this way.

Page 25:
I've settled on it. THIS IS HER FAULT. I'M GOING TO DO IT. KAEDE PROVED TO ME THAT I HAVE SUKOSO I CAN BE STRONG. Sukoso may not be big enough yet..but I've got a pair of fangs of my own...I'll kill HER tonight.

{The following is continued but the continuation seems covered in the same illegible crumple caused by some form of liquid.}
Page 25 ~Continued:
SHE...I WAS...I SHOULDN'T...I CAN'T BELIEVE...I WAS R...BY MY OWN...