[FIN] Picking up the Pieces

[TawnyAngel]

He wanted to say 'It'll be okay' but he couldn't promise that and so he just held Abel a bit tighter and rested his brow against the top of Abel's head. "You should drink something," he said after a few moments of silence. "You'll be no good if you're all dehydrated and your blood sugar's through the floor, right? Let me grab a couple of sodas and some chips." They might be here a while and he had no idea when Abel had last eaten but he definitely needed something.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Taavi was saying words, making good suggestions, and while Abel wanted to reply right away he could only sit there, clinging to his best friend as he silently struggled to reign in his emotions. After a few moments he managed to do so; his tight grasp on Taavi slackened as he pulled back and inhaled a deep, slightly wavering breath. "Yeah," he agreed somewhat distantly, "that's a good idea." Food and drink would be as rocks and dead weight in his stomach, he was sure, but his body needed it regardless.  

[TawnyAngel]

He really didn't want to let Abel go right now, really really. After a brief moment of hesitation he stood up enough to dig his wallet out of his pocket and passed it to Dawn. "Two sodas and two bags of chips, okay?" He didn't know if the machines gave change but he really didn't give a crap right now and yet he was acutely aware of the fact. He'd been horribly tight on money several times in his life and for fairly long periods of time but never quite like he had been when Patty was controlling them. It was over now but he couldn't forget it, it came into his head even now when he shouldn't have given it a thought instead of giving it a thought and then not caring about it.

As Dawn nodded and headed over to the machines Taavi squeezed both of Abel's shoulders and gave him an unhappy smile. "He's tough, right? And young, and fit." He still didn't know what had happened but all of those things had to count in his favour. "And, if we don't hear something soon maybe you can contact your friend Dith? Even if he's not working tonight he might know who to ask to get answers faster, and I'm sure he wouldn't mind you calling." He'd only met the big guy briefly a couple of times, last at that obstacle course day, but he'd always seemed nice.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Zevran was tough; he was young and fit and flexible, had been through a lot - more than anyone ever should go through, in Abel's opinion - and yet here he was, going through even more s**t. Probably the worst s**t. His best friend had tried to kill him - may even have succeeded, for all he knew - so Zevran had to retaliate and kill him instead. It was awful, absolutely terrible. Why did things have to be that way?

Abel pressed his face into his hands and rested his elbows on his knees again. Taavi was trying to help, trying to make him feel better, and yet... "They shot him," he said softly, anxiety creeping back into his expression and his voice, and drew in a quavering breath as he struggled once more to contain the wellspring of emotions that threatened to spill out again. "Twice. In the chest." And he had no idea if he was even still alive or not.  

[TawnyAngel]

Twice. In the ******** slid an arm around Abel's shoulders and swallowed hard, abruptly and desperately struggling against his own demons so that he would be there for his friend in this desperate moment.

So sorry.

"But... He was alive when you got here. That's good."

Nothing we could do.

"I... We'll wait here okay? We'll here something soon, and I'm here with you."

People looked so different dead. They made them up to look almost sleeping for funerals but dead in a hospital bed was different, it wasn't something you could ever forget. That wouldn't be Zevran tonight would it? It couldn't be.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

"I... yes, he was," Abel admitted, staring down through his fingers at the sterile tile floor. Wasn't that how it always went though? Alive and in sight one moment, gone and dead the next.

He drew in another shaky breath.

Taavi was here at least; he wasn't alone. Zevran wasn't alone either, wouldn't be, he couldn't die, he couldn't.

Abel's mouth worked to voice a few words his throat wouldn't let pass, and after a moment or two he gave up and squeezed his eyes shut tight.  

[TawnyAngel]

Taavi pulled Abel back into his arms as he squeezed his eyes shut; they both needed the hug right now, a lot.

When Dawn padded back over with the requested items and Taavi's wallet he gestured vaguely for her to put them down on a chair, soda and chips could wait a minute or two more while Abel just breathed for a while.

Breathed, like it was hard to do when people shot you in the chest.  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Taavi was hugging him again and once more Abel didn't hesitate to lean into the embrace, but this time he didn't return it; leaning closer felt like the most he could do without crumbling completely. He was already unraveling at the seams as it was; he kept his face pressed into his hands. This was awful - terrible - and the waiting was the worst part. He hated waiting for news like this, absolutely despised it, and yet there was nothing he could do about it. At least he wouldn't have to wait too long in the grand scheme of things to know whether Zevran had survived or not, and at least he wasn't suffering in the interim. No, if he hadn't passed out on his own then they'd almost definitely given him something to knock him out, to dull the pain. They would take care of him, do their best to save him -- when he disappeared it was somewhere good, somewhere helpful, unlike when Amelia disappeared. Poor Amelia vanished somewhere that never cared about her except as a source of income before disposing of her, and none of them knew anything about how or where she was for weeks. How frightened was she? How much had she suffered before dying? At least Zevran wouldn't feel those things if he didn't survive.

Abel's shoulders started to tremble again. He had to survive. He had to. "I can't lose him, Taavi." His voice was a hoarse whisper, his eyes still shut tight to stem the flow of tears that threatened to spill at any moment. "I can't lose someone else I love like this, I can't." And yet he might, no matter how much he didn't want to, no matter how desperately he wished for his boyfriend, his love, to please just... please be okay.

Please be okay.  

[TawnyAngel]

What the hell could he say to that? Taavi squeezed Abel tighter, and his heart squeezed painfully in his chest. Had Abel told Zev he loved him before what had happened? If... if things didn't go well then he hoped he had, the regret of never having admitted it would only make the grief worse.

"Abel, I," he swallowed hard, "I'm so sorry this happened. I... I can't make it any better or get news any faster but I'm here for you no matter what happens. And for Zev, too." If he did pull through - he had to, right? - he'd be a mess for a while but everything would be okay in the end, Abel had already been through enough s**t for a whole lifetime... But life wasn't fair, was it?  

[BlackFireKitsune]

That's right, Taavi was there for both of them no matter what happened -- even if Zev died. Especially if he died.

The thought, the possibility, the fact it wasn't just a possibility but a likely possibility given the type and number of his injuries was too much to bear. Abel leaned into Taavi's tight embrace and for the second time that night the weak, cracked dam holding back his emotions crumbled and fell apart, and as they flowed freely so did his tears.

Eventually the taller blond pulled away - not without some sniffling and drying his reddened eyes - and some time after that gave in to the knowledge that he had to put something in his stomach, so he reluctantly picked up one of the soda cans and a bag of chips that Dawn had fetched for them... some time earlier. Not that he even wanted it now, but he had to have something at least, even if it did feel like he'd just filled his stomach up with rocks.  

[TawnyAngel]

Why was there nothing he could do, nothing he could do for either of them? Nothing much anyway, just being here didn't feel like it was anything at all but it was all he could do except pray. He didn't actually expect Arceus to interject and Xerneas had been kidnapped by Team Rocket for who knew what awful purposes but he prayed anyway, silently and with his arms wrapped tightly around Abel. There was nothing else they could do but wait.

The waited.

Eventually Abel pulled away; Taavi let him go with a last squeeze to his shoulder and took the other soda. He was thirsty and the sweet fizzy liquid was a relief from that, which instantly made him feel guilty and he knew that was dumb but he felt it anyway.

As he sipped at the drink Taavi glanced up at the clock on the wall; it was the early hours of the morning now, no way he or Abel would be in work tomorrow. When it was a more reasonable hour he'd text Chris for Abel and Heather for himself and tell them... What? Family emergency? Abel was family to him and though they hadn't been together that long it was obvious what Zev meant to Abel.

A couple of minutes more passed; Taavi ate his chips, drank his soda, kept glancing at Abel and then up at the clock. Time was moving like treacle. How much longer would they have to wait here?

It had been a long, exhausting shift but he couldn't go home yet.

In medicine you had to have a certain amount of detachment; you cared - you wouldn't do it if you didn't - but when you were cutting people up, clamping ruptured blood vessels it wasn't helpful if you were too personally invested. It was hard not to be invested when you knew the person.

Outside the waiting room Dith took a moment to rub his face and collect his thoughts; he could have been coming here to give far, far worse news than he was but the thought of facing Abel was a difficult one. Hopefully family members had arrived by now and he could direct his comments to them in the first instance, that would make it easier.

Whoever was waiting in there though had waited long enough and so he put on his best 'serious but slightly smiling' expression and opened the door. There was Abel, his friend Taavi, a few pokemon, but nobody else sitting with them. Damn. Still, it could be a lot worse. "Abel?"  

[BlackFireKitsune]

As much as he didn't want to eat or drink - it felt like lead weighing his stomach down, and he felt vaguely ill - he did so regardless, the actions more mechanical than anything else, but after a few minutes he stopped and set both down for now. Eating was good, he knew he needed to eat, but... There was only so much he could make himself eat without feeling sick, or at least more sick.

Hearing someone say his name that wasn't Taavi drew his attention and his head jerked up immediately, quickly scanning the small room for the source of the familiar name. "Dith." Had he come to bring them news? He had, right? Had he... had he survived? Was he okay? Or had he-- died, and Dith was just going to let him know? But he was smiling a little, so maybe he was okay... But maybe he was just smiling because he was glad to see a friend? He still had no idea, it could still go either way. Hope and fear whirled in his expression, both vying for dominance but neither succeeding -- yet.  

[TawnyAngel]

The door opened, and was abruptly filled by Dith. Taavi's heart froze for a moment but when he saw the big man's smile he returned it with an anxious one of his own, surely he wouldn't be smiling if things weren't alright?

The expression on Abel's face was one he saw all too often but familiarity didn't make it any nicer, definitely not from a friend. "We had some dicey moments but Zevran is stable now, he's in the intensive care unit..." Dith trailed off there as professionalism battled with the desire to share everything he knew with his friend. A first date on New Years to this at the beginning of April? Clearly much had changed but that didn't change procedure.

"Are you in contact with any of his family, or do you know how we could reach them?" Dith asked somewhat apologetically after a very brief pause. "I should really speak to them about specifics before I say anything else."  

[BlackFireKitsune]

Stable -- alive. He was alive. Alive, alive. It suddenly struck Abel that 'alive' was such a nice word, one of the best words really, and hearing it pushed a weight off his shoulders that he hadn't known he'd been carrying this whole time. Dread, worry, anxiety all melted away to make room for an immense swell of relief and for a moment or two all he could do was drop his head back into his hands with a sigh of pure relief. He was alive, alive, not dead but alive... and in the intensive care unit, but he was alive.

For now.

No, no; he couldn't think that way. Zevran was alive and stable, he would be okay. He would. Willing himself to relax at least somewhat in the face of this good, wonderful news, he lifted his head back up and opened his mouth to answer Dith's question... then shut it again with a soft frown before shaking his head. "He doesn't have any family." No, the closest he'd had were his two best friends back in Antiva; unfortunately both of them were dead. "We're all he has -- us and his pokemon." Was that too much to share? ...no, Dith needed to know, and what else could he say? Either way he'd already said it, so it was too late to take it back now even if he wanted to.  

[TawnyAngel]

Oh. Well, no need to wait around for people that didn't exist...

It was an upsetting thought - close to his own family as he was Dith couldn't quite imagine not having one - but it made a few things quicker and easier; just as he didn't have to wait on talking to Abel to give other people news he didn't have to wait around to ask permissions for this or that. Not that he would have expected a refusal of anything - and if there had been a religions objection to blood transfusion, too bad now anyway! - but it was one less thing to think about if a new drug was required.

Dith recovered quickly from his surprise and there was barely a perceptible pause before he nodded; "I see," and pulled a chair around to sit down in front of Abel and Taavi. "There was damage to several major blood vessels near his heart, it took some time to stop the bleeds but he was very lucky. We've given him several units of blood and he'll need more yet but he's reacting to them well." Thankfully he hadn't turned out to have O- blood, potentially killing him with a transfusion reaction after all of those sutures would have been terrible. "The wounds have also caused his left lung to collapse, he has a chest tube in which will drain out the air and blood in the chest cavity and correct that, and he is on a ventilator to support his breathing. With the amount of trauma he suffered, and the ventilator, for now we're keeping him sedated to give him some time to heal. If all goes well we would hope to bring him around in a few days and then wean him off the ventilator.... Is there anything you want to ask me?" Some people had a hundred questions at a time like this, others were too numb to speak at all.

The only question Taavi wanted to ask was 'will he be okay?' but he remained silent and glanced quickly over at Abel; that had been a lot to take in just now.