[FIN][Yael] The Sound of Silence [Kal | Ko]

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

The Sound of Silence

After the first day Ko disappeared to his lunchtime ‘tutoring’ session, Kaleth spent the last minutes of his lunch period devising how to go about confirming or denying it without outright calling his roommate a liar. Ko had seemed so genuinely distressed that his initial suspicions waned just enough in the moment to let it go. He wanted to be imagining things and was at least somewhat aware of his tendency to come to negative conclusions with partial evidence.

Left to his own thoughts, however, and playing the encounter back through his mind, it didn’t add up. Still, stalking Ko down himself after he had specifically shied away from showing him where he was going would be conspicuous. He was no sleuth, and he didn’t particularly want to challenge the issue head on, for risk of looking like a complete arse if Ko was actually in some obscure, poorly described tutoring session.

Kaleth found an unwitting co-conspirator in his next class, and after a little maneuvering, convinced him that his best course of action was to cooperate and report back just a few pieces of information regarding where a certain boy headed during their lunch hour.

Then, he had only to wait.  

[MissMisnomer]

Approaching with a chord of anxiety pulled taught in his chest, Ko came upon the door to his Elemental Transference classroom, a plate of food in hand and book bag in the other. After how surprisingly invested Kal had been, it had felt like a good idea to make the lie a truth as quickly as possible. Which meant booking it to his different professors to accost them at the end of their lunches.

Surely, they could see how much he was struggling. And surely, that could warrant some one on one teaching. But apparently, teachers wanted to eat at lunch, and apparently, so did the other students. Which meant no tutors were available. He was more than welcome to try to arrange something after the main schooling hours, and greatly encouraged.

But of course, after hours was not what Ko needed. Well, maybe he could use some extra time in the classroom, but that was not the point. If actual tutoring was not an option, he'd just have to fake it a little.

He knocked on the door, opening it a tad as he peeked inside.

“Um…Miss Birchel, mam? I know we talked yesterday, but could I ask you something, real quick? It's about the assignment from earlier…”

Muffled words followed, and he stepped inside, closing the door behind him. And there he stayed, for a moment that turned into minutes, asking for clarification on one obscure part of the reading or another. But quickly enough, he ran out of things to bother the woman about. At which time he thanked her for her time and slipped out the door, satisfied that enough time had passed that if Kal had walked over to check on him, he'd find Ko at a teacher's desk, getting ‘help’. He thought himself rather clever, and gave himself a pat on the back for his uncharacteristically thoughtful preparation.

Which just left the dull task of making his way behind the library to a shady spot inside the shrubbery, sitting his rear in the dirt as he ate his lunch alone.  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Kaleth wasn’t sure what to expect. Although his suspicions were strong enough to enlist the aid of outside eyes, he didn’t have the faintest clue what the alternative to Ko’s tale would be. Where was he going? And why? Any hope that his skepticism was unfounded were dashed after the first day. Instead of one professor who insisted on his time, the boy who trailed him stated that he had moved from one room to another, never lingering for long until the last, were he stayed for a period before moving out—and evacuating outdoors, behind the library.

Well. It wasn’t a forced study session.

What it was, however, was still a mystery. Regardless: Ko had lied. Kaleth gave it three more days, recruiting a different unsuspecting accomplice each time to report on his roommate’s path. Like before, it was unpredictable, and briefer each time before he resorted to sitting outside. Alone. And eating there. He didn’t study, he wasn’t met by anyone, and so far as Kaleth could tell nothing else seemed to happen.

So, Ko had spun a tale to avoid him just so he could be away from him. And for no other reason. It was grounds enough for Kaleth to cease engaging with him—which was an interesting feat when living with someone, but Kal was nothing if not determined. He saw no explanation for Ko’s actions and any pressing had resulted in lies to his face. If the boy wanted anything to do with him, the least he could do, in Kal’s opinion, would be to tell him the truth.

It was one thing to want to sit on his own, but another entirely to insist on treating the maneuver like a delicately planned escape to spare his feelings in some regard. He didn’t appreciate it, and he was determined that Ko know it.  

[MissMisnomer]

Kneeling beside his bed, Ko pressed his face against the floorboards, squinting into the gloom. He reached to grab a promising dark lump, extracting it into the light. But it was only the itchy gray scarf his sister had knitted him, and not what he was looking for. With a frustrated huff, he sat up, wadding the scarf in his hands as he set it down atop the bed.

“Shoot…I really need to find that.”

“Hey Kal,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. “Have you seen my bag of rune stones? I thought I left it in its usual spot on top of my chest, but it doesn't look like it's there. You know, the white bag? It has the purple stitching on it?”  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Kaleth, who had made a habit of keeping a text on hand for the convenient excuse of focusing intently on something else should Ko attempt to engage, was sitting at the edge of his bed, one leg folded under him, and ‘reading.’ He didn’t move. He would have thought, after a scattering of days of this, the other boy would either give up or address the issue.

But neither seemed to be the case.

This particularly puzzled Kaleth because why would Ko so intently avoid him only to still attempt to be civil in other situations. What was he aiming for—

But, Kaleth reminded himself, it didn’t matter if he thought the method to go about it was cover everything up from him entirely and continue to treat him like a fool by pushing it and pretending nothing had occurred. Kaleth didn’t understand other people. And this, perhaps, was why he aimed not to make friends to begin with. It was always simpler that way.  

[MissMisnomer]

“Did you hear me?” He inquired, crawling under his bed to root around in the clutter. “I'm having a bit of a bother of finding my bag of runestones? It's bad enough that I had to borrow another one from the classroom after the last bag got ruined in that fire incident, I'd hate to have to get a third just because I lost it. Though I feel like they should really come with some kind of charm, to keep them from working when you aren't really trying to use them. I coulda burned a hole right through my good pants…”

Rolling out once again, he brushed some dust off of his cheek, more fluff clinging there from the lint and dirt than he'd been able to grow himself quite yet. “I should really start making lists of all my stuff.”

A small sneeze followed.

Wiping at his nose, he squinted up at Kaleth, who had yet to answer his questions. “Hey, Kal, hello? My bag, have you seen it?”

The other boy was staring intently at his book, a deep frown plastered on his face. Curiosity piqued, Ko sat up, scooting over. “You've been reading that book a lot lately.” He tipped his head as he tried to make out the words on the cover, a bit of a task with Kal's fingers in the way. “Is it really good?”  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Kaleth pursed his lips, but didn’t remove his eyes from his book. They remained pinned, though, where they were, focussed stiffly on the page number without bothering even to mimic reading by scanning the text. He had opened it to a random place as he did each time never with the intent of absorbing anything, and without directly acknowledging it, a part of him did want Ko to notice something was off.

But even that, apparently, was too much to ask and beyond the powers of his roommate’s intuition and observation skills. Kal grit his teeth.

Ko sneezed.

Kaleth curbed the impulse to glance at the sound, and finally, the other boy at least seemed to get some hint he was being more ignored than usual. Yet, immediately his tone suggested it wasn’t having the effect Kal desired. He didn’t sound bothered or perplexed or even like he understood at all that it was intentional—and then he was coming closer. Kal rolled onto his stomach, further onto the bed and giving Ko his back in the process as he kicked off his boots and made no verbal response to the inquiries.

If he didn’t look at or speak to him, eventually he would understand something needed addressing.

Maybe you left it out in the grass behind the library with your friend the brick wall…  

[MissMisnomer]

Ko was in the midst of deciphering a ‘J’ at the start of the title, when wordlessly, Kal rolled over away from him onto the bed. As boots hit the floor, the creaking of aged wood was the only other sound filling the space. Ko squatted back onto his haunches, arms crossed over his knees as he rested his chin on them.

“Don't want to talk about it? Sorry, it must be an intense part ― I know it can be annoying when people ask you about a book when you are trying to read it. I'll leave you to it then, I guess.”

But as Ko sat and tried to recall where he might have left the darn sack of his missing rocks, even he couldn't help but notice that it was taking Kal a considerable amount of time to finish that one page. But maybe he was just a slow reader?

Ko craned his neck to squint at the page. Hadn't Kal…?

“I thought you'd already read that part? Yesterday you were practically at the end, weren't you? Are you rereading it again?”

When still no response came, his brow furrowed, feeling silly for asking, but…

“Is something wrong?”  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Sorry, it must be an intense part…

After bafflement — and then indignation — there was a part of Kaleth that was almost—impressed by Ko’s lack of perceptiveness? He was being as abject about it as he could, and had thought surely there was no way to completely overlook—but then, for several moments he began to legitimately contemplate the possibility: Ko would live entirely in his own universe making up excuses for why he wasn’t being acknowledged and Kaleth would have to listen to it-

But then, like stone that had finally been nicked away to bare the faintest glimmer of something beyond, Ko tentatively touched down on a clue. I thought you’d already read that part? Kaleth had never before had the experience of paying so much attention to someone while simultaneously expending vast amounts of energy trying to appear not to acknowledge their existence. His eyes were locked in place, but his ears felt as though they hung on Ko’s every movement, and he was holding his breath without realizing it.

Is something wrong?

Kaleth exhaled in a rush, and almost laughed, besieged by some combination of relief and disbelief that temporarily softened his prior anger. It, however, was short lived, and by the time he turned his gaze on Ko, pushing up to fix him with it unblinking, he didn’t think even the most drly delivered of, ‘No…you think?’ was worth the risk. So, instead, he said only:

“Yes.”  

[MissMisnomer]

When Kaleth pulled his attention away from the static page to finally address Ko, and presented his unenthused face out on display for him alone, he finally began to think that perhaps he might have made a serious mistake somewhere along the line. There were social clues he had missed, at some time, in some way. How many had flown under his radar ― he could not be sure.

He'd made a mistake in not seeing them, that much was clear. And Kaleth was not impressed.

Feeling much like a crab out on a dinner plate, he met Kal's eyes, and glanced down at his fingers, fiddling them together as he hesitantly looked up again.

“Is…it something that I did?”  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

It was clear the moment realization settled over Ko, like a chilly rain matting down the coat of a previously buoyant small animal and leaving a sad likeness of itself. He was reminded that it was difficult to be cross with Ko to his face for any extended period of time, and whether he intended it or not, his next rendition of, “Yes…” was slightly softer spoken than the first, though no less resolute.

He eyed the boy before him, frowning.

Did he genuinely not know? But then, he must not. For how else could he have been so clueless thus far. Still, it seemed so obvious.

“How long are you going to keep lying to me?”  

[MissMisnomer]

At first, Ko wasn't sure what to make of the question. Was he lying about anything? He had to check the internal catalogue just to make sure.

Was it about saying that new haircut looked good?

No…that was for that one boy he sat next to in morning lectures. Bangs really don't suit him.

And none of the other ones, those lies were for different people.

This one was for Kaleth, something he'd done to make him upset enough to avoid even polite conversation. And then, just like that, in a ridiculously obvious stroke of remembrance, it came to him. It had been days since the topic had began, but Kaleth had never brought it up again, so Ko had just thought that the ruse had been a success.

Apparently not.

Putting on his best passive face, he tipped his head in a perplexed manner. “What do you mean?”  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Kaleth watched, waiting for it. Ko took his time sometimes and Kal had learned nothing if not that much, so he let the boy rack his brain, and he could have sworn by their gods he saw the moment it dawned on him—or certainly that something did, and Kaleth was ready-

But then, Ko’s head tipped, and out came:

What do you mean?

And for a moment Kaleth tried to convince himself he wasn’t processing it correctly because surely Ko wouldn’t. But he was. To his face. At this very moment. And with it, the buffer of sympathy that had come with Ko’s initial finger fidgeting was whisked away like a salty sea breeze, and for an instant, all he could imagine was taking that small neck under his palms-

Kaleth shifted, pushing the rest of the way upright and off the bed, advancing on Ko in a singular motion. His hand fisted in the front of Ko’s shirt, and he restrained himself to a single, tight shake, pulling in and up just enough to begin testing the boy’s gravity connection with the floor. When he spoke, it was a looming growl, inches from his face. “You wanna know one thing I really don’t like?”  

[MissMisnomer]

With the few weeks they'd been roommates, Ko liked to think he'd been in quite an interesting collection of situations with the other boy. They'd done that test of comradery the first day of physical training, the rooftop party, and a whole handful of other flavorful circumstances. He'd laughed with him, been bored beside him, been confused and frustrated with him. A whole variety of emotions that come with living in the same small space with someone every day.

But he'd never once, despite the whispers he'd heard, or the energy radiating off his roommate during tense moments, been afraid of him.

Until.

With a wince, Ko shut his eyes, physically pulling away from the harsh snarl as his fingers crimped on the digits gripping at his shirt. He instinctually made himself smaller, as unthreatening a target as possible, when his voice came out as a tight mumble.

“No?”  

[Miss Chief aka Uke]

Kaleth naturally expected a certain range of reactions. The way Ko recoiled was anticipated enough, along with his wince and that wordless bodily expression that came with it. The small uncertain, “No?” though, was a momentary surprise. After which, he pursed his lips.

Well, too bad.

“I don’t like being lied to,” he said. “Do I look stupid to you? You know what this is about, you started it! If you don’t want to be around me then don’t be, but don’t mock me over it. I know where you’re going. What I don’t understand is why you’re pretending. I don’t know what I did to upset you…but you can say it to my face or stop acting like you want anything to do with me.”

However inaccurate it might have been, in that particular moment it felt to Kaleth as though Ko’s discomfort with something he had done was a given. Ko was so evidently avoiding him and keenly resistant on being truthful about it that it must be some repulsion with him personally—which of course only fueled his frustrations. But though he could generally come up with any number of reasons most of his peers might avoid him, even the many days this had been ongoing hadn’t shed the light of insight upon any specific act of his own regarding Ko that might have triggered this behavior.

So at this point, amidst all his other conflicted feelings, he just wanted to know and hear that truth from Ko’s lips personally. It didn’t feel like too much to ask.