I'm angry, I'm upset and I'm sad. I feel like a group of people I've become dear friends with over the last two years have been having meetings behind our backs about our "performance" during game. Apparently Holly was not up to snuff and she was asked to leave. That's horrible considering the fact it's the only time during the week that I see them. We weren't even asked to sit out, just asked to leave. I'm hurt, I feel awful, like there's no one single person that I can look at, face to face like a normal adult. No one's naming names but they're quick to point fingers. I just wish we had a chance to try and work it out rationally. But I guess a committee has already made that choice for us. I know it wasn't a personal insult to me, but it was a personal insult to Holly and that can't help but get me riled up. It just doesn't seem fair. Bad blood? roleplaying? Come on, it's a game and a mature adult approach would be nice. I went there to have fun and see my friends. I know I don't have the time during the week, working and all, and I highly doubt any of them will take the initiative to hang out either. We're just not worth it apparently. I just feel really sad and well, betrayed, stabbed in the back, I can't help it. I haven't had to vent like this since I broke up with my ex. There are people I care about. God, I've called to help them move, I've given them rides at 5 o'clock in the morning to go get their meds, I bought them dice just as sign of appreciation. I don't know it just hurts. I'm not doing this to gain sympathy or anything like that. I'm just expressing my feelings.
Ziruas Community Member 
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Community Member
I don't dislike Holly, first and foremost. Even though we haven't talked in forever, you should recall I always say what is on my mind, and I'd tell you if I had a problem when I noticed I had a problem.
That said, from the times we have hung out with Holly, relations have been... strained... When we're young, we make friends based usually around one central figure, bold or loud, or cool, the best toys, or whatever. It always seems there is one person that is always the center of attention. The hardest part of growing up is realizing that adults do not make or keep friends this way. Holly strives to be that center of attention, even interjecting over other people (Including the GM, both from my experience with Captain N and from what I do hear from the Monday game) to get every scrap of eye contact she can. I can't speak for everyone, but it tires me out tying to accommodate that. I try to give my friends as much of my time as I can when I'm with them, and vice versa.
I'm an egocentric person, there is no dispute. But I do know when to sit down and let someone else have a turn. I don't see that happening a whole lot regarding the situation at hand. I'm sure this was at least one reason that led to the eventual decision to ask Holly to leave.
Control is another issue. This is where I have my main issue and something I can speak to directly. Holly keeps you on a tight leash. (Yes Holly I know you can and have read this, I wouldn't say anything behind your back I wouldn't say directly to you.) You do what she wants, when she wants, and never anything you want to do on your own terms, not without her permission anyway. I'm still not quite sure why. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to see you missed so many sessions of Captain N, because Holly flatly did not want you to go, because she was not invited to a full game. That same control has put you both in the situation you are in, in my opinion. You love each other, so to an extent, it should be expected for you to go hand in hand. But you're entitled to have you own, differing opinion and interests.
A brief aside and something I would not know much about, since I did not directly witness it is Meta-gaming. I have heard that there was a continual and willful abuse of out-of-game knowledge inside of game over several of the games played, to look cool or whatever the reason was. That's not the point of the game, any of these games really, and it ruins it for everyone else, and should immediately be quashed by the GM and the offending action be retconned from the story.
From what I am led to believe Holly was asked to leave, and you went with her, out of love, respect for her. No one faults you for that, and it is an expected and logical result to a difficult decision.
I'm not saying this to stir up wounds or cause drama, but maybe to show you another side of what has transpired. I know a lot of people kept quiet about their issues with Holly out of respect for you, and I suspect that may be why there seems to be a lot of cloak and dagger meetings about it. I know personally if Holly is who you want to spend your life with, who am I to judge, really? Whether or not any of us approve is irrelevant, its yours and her choice. And I do know that the decision that was made was not made lightly or flippantly to make a decision about what to do. Many months they talked about it, maybe a year, by my reckoning.
You can hate me if you want, the both of you. I don't mind. It wouldn't be the first time I was the villain, and I play the part well. But I wanted to deliver what I felt was some perspective on a difficult time in you lives together.
You can certainly contact me to comment/b***h if you want. I suppose I deserve it for saying anything, especially something I really had no part in.