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WHAT I’VE LEARNED FROM GIN TAMA:
- Naturally wavy hair is the source of all problems
- People can be bald even if there is still hair on their head
- It is acceptable to defy the government if your best friend is about to be eaten by a giant octopus
- If your love life is in danger, a dude with a mayonnaise cannon can help
- All the action happens during your favorite soap opera
- In Japan, people who overpower motor vehicles are called “mountain gorillas” not “little girls”
- Many things are sold in Japanese vending machines, but time machines are not among them
- An inferiority complex is a source of strength
- Wooden swords can indeed cut onions
- A person can have both high blood sugar and hypoglycemia
- Your mother is useless if she can’t make fried rice
- If you can break a cop’s nose with your skull, you don’t need a helmet
- Recklessness pays off
- Your landlady can kick your butt
-Space flounders have strange tastes in pets (the names are
weird, too)
-The government wants you to get eaten by monsters
so they can get permission from other governments to kill said
monsters
- Wake Up TV’s astrology segment is a total lie
- Guys with cheesy perms don’t make good gangsters
- Messing with Kagura will be the last thing you do
- There are more creative ways to insult people than swearing
- If you recover stolen property, then it officially belongs to
you
- Never trust a postman with wormy eyebrows
- Gorilla can be a catchphrase
- Fights are nice and loud, but terrorism is morbid crap
- Spook-eyed people can become public officials
- Bazookas make instant afro’s
- You don’t need a phone to call for an ambulance
- Bedridden perverts never have money
- If your party involves underwear,
it goes straight from first annual to 35th annual
- Landmines are not dangerous if they are in your backyard
- Do not date women from Kyoto
- The secret about strawberry milk
- Strawberry Milk Dogs=apocalypse
“How long are you going to go on and on like some stupid, gum chewing, Kyoto girl on her cell phone? After all, I’m not some sad sack who plays video games on a Saturday night, my inferiority complex makes me stronger and if I didn’t have naturally wavy hair, I’d definitely be popular with girls…I think.
So shut up or I’ll break your shades baldy!!!”
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GINPACHI-SENSEIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Oh yeah, it's me by the way, footnoodles urm I DON'T HAVE A REAL LIFE NAME SHHHH.