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HEY MY NAME IS MORGAN AND MY BIRTHDAY IS APRIL FIRST... I HAVE LIGHT BROWN HAIR AND GREEN EYES... I AM TALL... ISH... LOL... AND I'M TAKEN!!!!! WELL GOT TO GO FOR NOW... PM ME YOU WANT TO KNOW MORE... BBBBBYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
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<br />
<br />
Never go to bed angry... stay up and plot your revenge.<br />
-=-=-<br />
When life gives you lemons, throw them back and say you want oranges. <br />
-=-=-<br />
I believe in free will - I have no choice<br />
-=-=-<br />
I'm just a chocolate bar... sweet but half nuts! <br />
-=-=-<br />
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?<br />
-=-=-<br />
Do not follow in my footsteps. I walk into walls.<br />
-=-=-<br />
Being stupid isn't a bad thing, you're just overdoing it. <br />
-=-=-<br />
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? <br />
-=-=-<br />
If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of... OMG! <br />
-=-=-<br />
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.<br />
-=-=-<br />
All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.<br />
-=-=-<br />
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them,<br />
you're a mile away and you have their shoes.<br />
-=-=-<br />
Duct tape is like the force: it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.<br />
-=-=-<br />
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.<br />
-=-=-<br />
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.<br />
-=-=-<br />
I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.<br />
-=-=-<br />
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.<br />
-=-=-<br />
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.<br />
-=-=-<br />
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.<br />
-=-=-<br />
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.<br />
-=-=-<br />
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of smart?<br />
-=-=-<br />
You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!<br />
-=-=-<br />
I don't have an attitude; I have a personality you can't handle<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
If you try to fail and succeed, what have<br />
you done? <br />
<br />
How is it one careless match can start a<br />
forest fire, but it takes a whole box to<br />
start a campfire? <br />
<br />
Why is the time when the traffic is slowest<br />
called rush-hour? <br />
<br />
What's the speed of dark? <br />
<br />
If physics can predict lottery numbers,<br />
why are they still working? <br />
<br />
If you run backwards will you gain weight? <br />
<br />
If Barbie is so popular, why do you need to<br />
buy her friends? <br />
<br />
What happens when you get scared<br />
half-to-death twice? <br />
<br />
Can a blind person feel blue? <br />
<br />
How can a house burn up when it burns<br />
down? <br />
<br />
Are you telling the truth when you lie in<br />
bed? <br />
<br />
If your vacuum cleaner really sucks, is it a<br />
bad thing? <br />
<br />
How do you know when a Smurf<br />
suffocates? <br />
<br />
Despite the cost of living, why does it<br />
remain so popular? <br />
<br />
If a word in a dictionary is misspelled, how<br />
would you know? <br />
<br />
In Chinese why are the words for crisis<br />
and opportunity the same? <br />
<br />
Why does X stand for a kiss? <br />
<br />
Why does O stand for a hug? <br />
<br />
Why is the alphabet in that order? <br />
<br />
How does skating on thin ice get you into<br />
hot water? <br />
<br />
Why are they called stands when there<br />
made for sitting? <br />
<br />
Doesn't expecting the unexpected make<br />
the unexpected expected? <br />
<br />
When cheese gets its picture taken what<br />
does it say? <br />
<br />
Why are they called non-stick pans? Is<br />
there a law saying your not allowed to put<br />
sticks in them? <br />
<br />
Why are a wise-man and a wise-guy<br />
opposites? <br />
<br />
If work is so terrific how come they have<br />
to pay you to do it? <br />
<br />
Should crematoriums give discounts for<br />
those who died in fires? <br />
<br />
Is it possible to have a civil-war? <br />
<br />
If the #2 pencil the most popular, why is it<br />
still #2? <br />
<br />
Do tea makers have coffee breaks? <br />
<br />
Can fat people go skinny-dipping? <br />
<br />
Why do they announce power shortages<br />
on TV? <br />
<br />
Do you need a silencer when you shoot a<br />
mime? <br />
<br />
Why do you press harder on the<br />
remote-control when you know the<br />
battery is dead? <br />
<br />
How can batteries die? <br />
<br />
If its zero degrees tonight, and tomorrow<br />
its meant to be twice as cold, how cold<br />
will it be? <br />
<br />
Why are buildings called buildings when<br />
there finished? Shouldn't they be called<br />
builts? <br />
<br />
Why is abbreviated such a long word? <br />
<br />
Why is it that when you tell a man there<br />
are 400 billion stars he will believe you, but<br />
when you tell him there's wet paint he has<br />
to touch it? <br />
<br />
Who's cruel idea was it to put a 'S' in 'lisp'?<br />
<br />
<br />
Do you find it unnerving that what doctors<br />
do is called 'practice'? <br />
<br />
Would a fly without wings be called a<br />
walk? <br />
<br />
If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it<br />
homeless or naked? <br />
<br />
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? <br />
<br />
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal<br />
injections?<br />
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