• Amythe the Mammoth's Gallery
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    Welcome to my profile. Won’t you stay and read?<br />
    <br />
    There have been dozens of drafts, and upwards of seven installations of my about me’s. I feel that people enjoy reading these, and I’ve gotten quite a few compliments on them. Don’t let that stop you from complimenting them, as that definitely helps me write more. <br />
    <br />
    <br />
    One fish, two fish.<br />
    Red fish, blue fish.<br />
    This fish, that fish.<br />
    I hate you fish.<br />
    Hop on pop<br />
    My heart will stop.<br />
    Three fish, four fish.<br />
    Fucking tool fish.<br />
    Hello.<br />
    And welcome to the aperture sc<br />
    Whoops, wrong window.<br />
    My name is Amythe.<br />
    My real name is Christopher.<br />
    Call me what you like, but know that I am a boy. <br />
    Please refrain from calling me Amy.<br />
    Also, don’t call me Amy with satire.<br />
    It’s really not funny.<br />
    Please, Amy is not a boy’s name.<br />
    At least, not yet.<br />
    That’s not until I have kids.<br />
    This little piggy went to market<br />
    And came home to a llama, a match book, and a television that.<br />
    None of them were there before.<br />
    You must light the match book to set fire to the llama.<br />
    But you need the llama to change the channel on the television.<br />
    But you need the television to strike the match book against.<br />
    Quick.<br />
    Solve for X.<br />
    I joined Gaia in September of 2004.<br />
    The 24th of that month.<br />
    Six years I’ve been on this site.<br />
    And every year it just gets a little worse and worse.<br />
    Sure, I’ve taken breaks.<br />
    Who hasn’t?<br />
    But that’s still terrible.<br />
    That not-so-cool fish.<br />
    Sometimes I reuse parts of my old About Me’s<br />
    This following part is one of those.<br />
    My favorite bands are Joanna Newsom and Agalloch.<br />
    My favorite song is by Battle of Mice. <br />
    My favorite genre of music is post-rock. <br />
    My favorite author is Chuck Palahniuk. <br />
    My favorite book is Diary. <br />
    My favorite movie is The Tracey Fragments <br />
    My favorite artfilm is Waking Life. <br />
    My favorite drug film is Spun.<br />
    Copying and pasting doesn’t fulfill me.<br />
    I really hate that small little spew fish.<br />
    I’m rather destructive.<br />
    I drive a motorcycle.<br />
    I practice parkour<br />
    I hardly eat, and I slice my wrist.<br />
    Help me from myself, Mr. blood pool fish.<br />
    I’ve been banned more times than most should ever be.<br />
    I was a complete douchebag music elitist for three years.<br />
    Then I was a smaller, yet still significant, douchebag in the LD.<br />
    Sorry, everyone. <br />
    I’ll be more tame. <br />
    Like a lion, with a chair being shoved in my face.<br />
    I am in love with Netflix<br />
    But it just serves as a mean to soothe my addictions.<br />
    I get extremely addicted to things.<br />
    Anything, really. Projects.<br />
    Math.<br />
    Shows.<br />
    Music.<br />
    And then it dies off after a couple of weeks.<br />
    And I never touch it again.<br />
    Je suis mauvais au français.<br />
    Mais j'essaie.<br />
    Compte-cela?<br />
    Cel’Il ne fait pas fish.<br />
    I love to tutor math<br />
    Teaching people is something that comes naturally to me.<br />
    It allows me to nurture<br />
    Because fuck nature.<br />
    Fuck. Nature.<br />
    I love being purple.<br />
    Or Green, or Yellow, but I haven’t made those full-body dyes yet. <br />
    If you enjoy my about me, or any of my posts<br />
    Or maybe you just think I’m cute.<br />
    Do tip. heart <br />
    Also, drop me a line.<br />
    I really love talking to people<br />
    And if at all possible, send me a PM<br />
    My goal in life is to become famous.<br />
    I want to be talked about in college classrooms.<br />
    I know, one of these days, I’ll be cited in a book.<br />
    A Wikipedia will be written on me.<br />
    Yes.<br />
    An entire Wikipedia.<br />
    And I won’t be in the goo fish.<br />
    I wish I could draw.<br />
    It’s really crushing to me that I can’t.<br />
    I feel like most things come very naturally to me.<br />
    But even after years of trying off and on.<br />
    I can’t be graced with the skills of an artist.<br />
    The eye, the hand.<br />
    You’re a fucking tool fish.<br />
    I fucking love animals.<br />
    And I love fucking animals<br />
    I had a puppy for 14 years before she passed away this past summer. <br />
    I’m distraught over that.<br />
    But at least I still have Boxxy, my tuxedo kitten.<br />
    …<br />
    And yes, she’s named after that Boxxy.<br />
    I’m fucked up fish<br />
    My medications make it so that I can’t write.<br />
    Can’t compose.<br />
    Can barely do math.<br />
    But without them, I can’t hear anyone speak.<br />
    Too many voices. <br />
    Too many fucking voices.<br />
    This is some of the worst prose I’ve written.<br />
    Thank the medications for this.<br />
    I miss the voices.<br />
    Too many fucking voices.<br />
    My About Me<br />
    Is a way to let loose.<br />
    To be myself.<br />
    To cry onto a page and let my fingers do the communicating.<br />
    I wish I could be coherent<br />
    I wish I could know what I want to say.<br />
    And although I might not be mentally well<br />
    At least physically, I’m fine.<br />
    …<br />
    For now. <br />
    I’ll fucking kill you fish.<br />
    I’ll fucking kill you.<br />
    <br />
    <br />
    <br />
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