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a u t o - b i o g r a p h y<br />
The fact that I’m writing this to begin with is pointless because you won’t understand me and I kind of don’t want you too... but I have nothing else to occupy my time with. Its 1:04 on a Saturday night and I can’t sleep. This is what I’m doing while my peers are getting drunk and high and rolling on good times.<br />
Haha I kind of envy it. <br />
So basically, I’m going to ramble about things because I’m deep in thought and I try to take advantage of these moments by writing down what I know about myself; so here it goes. <br />
Don’t trust me; I’m realizing how selfish I can be. <br />
I know how to love someone but I’m untrustworthy because of it. It’s something I cannot control; I can’t keep to myself what I want or how I feel. <br />
Day’s go on and you start to get scared because you don’t know what you’re doing with your life and what you’ll accomplish. <br />
One that hasn’t succeeded anything has little value in my eyes. I’m not religious in the least but I do believe in God. I hate when people that don’t believe say to respect it but then they go try to compare Him to the tooth fairy or Santa Claus. <br />
How can you honestly compare that? I’d rather live my life believing and finding out in the end that He does not exist than not believing and finding out he does. That'd make me look wonderful, standing in front of Him and everything.<br />
Respect what I believe, and I’ll respect yours. <br />
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Not one single person knows how I really am behind closed doors; When I’m singing and dancing around in my underwear pretending to be Haylee Williams or laughing at myself because I realize how ‘out there’ I am in public. <br />
They don’t know that you could be one of the people I hate the most and if you were in front of a moving car, I’d risk my life for you. <br />
Bet you didn’t know that. Haha.<br />
And I also bet you didn’t know that I have this prediction that I’ll die young. Something like a car accident, putting myself in danger for others or just being at the wrong place at the wrong time kind of fate. I have that constant feeling and it brings questions like: “How are people gonna remember me?” “Who will be affected, and the outcome of it.” <br />
I try to live everyday with a smile on my face because I have this little hope that It’ll brighten at least one person's day. <br />
I want to be the girl that’s remembered years from now as the one who always laughed and smiled. The one who someone admired because she stepped out of her shell to not be like everyone else; because let me tell you, that takes courage and I don’t regret it one bit even with all the negativity towards me. <br />
That girl you ended up falling in love with or even the one you never got along with but kind of wished you did. <br />
And also, the girl you hurt that you want back more than anything.<br />
But then again, that’s every girl right, Alexander?<br />
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You know how people say that they don’t care what other people think? <br />
Well, I think that’s bologna, (Pronounced: Bah-Logg-Nuh), because everyone knows their flaws and if someone points it out and uses it against them it scars them for life, believe It or not.<br />
You may not realize it, but it hurts more when they say exactly what you hoped they wouldn’t say because you thought it was all in your head and they didn’t notice. <br />
It can be a complete stranger and it’ll sting. I’m one of the people that gets stung the most, but I can also be the one who knows exactly what’ll get you to cry. <br />
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Deleting this when I find something better to fill this empty space<3 <br />
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