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    "It's best to have failure happen early in life. It wakes up the Phoenix in you so you rise from the ashes"
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    The Phoenix is not just a mythical creature that you find in legend and stories, it is also, to many, an experience.<br />
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    My life began in 1987, however I have always felt as though that life born that year was snuffed out at the age of 12. Personal events caused 4-5 years of my life to be a living hell. Many would have called it quits, and I too was on the edge of making that decision. At my lowest point, I somehow woke up from deep within my snuffed out life, forced out all the hurt and torment, and I created a new life for myself. Who I was, as young as she was, is gone. I had to start from scratch, rediscover who I was, and create a new life for myself.<br />
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    I am a Phoenix.<br />
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    My second life began in 2003, already in high school. Thanks to the aid of a few people who agreed to be around me, I was able to forge a new life and a new personality for myself. I had missed out on a lot of life, so I was desperate to cram in as much as possible. I jumped into theater, art clubs, anime clubs, and soon I had a new family of friends who accepted me for who I was. <br />
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    In January 2004, one of my friends introduced me to Gaia. Soon after, many of my new friends had joined in and we had an amazing family start on here. We met friends on here and Gaia became a home away from home world. Life on here, I will admit, was short lived. By the end of 2004 the group separated.<br />
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    I remained on Gaia, on and off, messing with the exchange and art forums. In reality, I was getting ready to graduate from High School and was ready to take on the world. Unfortunately, a large number of people I was close to ended up taking a dark path and sucked me in. I was thrust into a world of drugs and parties and my life became a blur for close to 2 years.<br />
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    Near the end of that dark path, after being stuck in a horribly manipulative relationship with a man who only kept me around for personal gratification for over a year, I met a man named Scott. He helped open my eyes and escape from his grasp and begun to help me break out of my dark habits. I won't lie to you, it was a hard and long transition. For a while he dipped into that world to be closer to me, but in the end I knew that wasn't what he wanted.<br />
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    After a year of us being together, my second life was just about snuffed out as well. I was driving to work one rainy morning in New York when I lost control of my car while driving over water filled pot holes. The next thing I knew I was fading in and out of blackness, hearing voices asking me if I remember the accident, not knowing what they were talking about. During my black outs, I apparently kept begging them to call Scott and repeated his phone number a few dozen times. Looking back I think I feared I was going to slip away before I could talk to him.<br />
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    After a week of being in the ICU I was able to go back home with Scott. That first day home was one of the hardest days for me. Scott was at work and my family had life to tend to. I was alone and the gravity of what had happened to me hit hard. I cried and drowned myself in booze and whatever I could get for about a month after that day, trying to forget. Why did I survive that crash? Anyone else would be dead, the worst fact was if Scott was sitting next to me he would be dead because of me.<br />
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    I tried to hang with some old friends after the incident and I felt so disconnected from everyone, it was the strangest thing ever. I had 0 interest in being around them, their views and beliefs seemed so trivial and unimportant. I realized then that my life had once again shifted, the Phoenix broke out of my ashes and I am now a new person, a better person.<br />
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    Two years later, we moved out of our home state and now reside 1900 miles away in Texas. Sure we have met new friends and have good jobs, but I can't help but miss how life once was when I had an amazing family of friends.<br />
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    How do you reconnect? How is it possible when that was another life?<br />
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    I feel so disconnected from people whom I once held so close to my heart, will they ever accept me again?
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