• We don’t want you. You bring bad luck to us all! Mother died because of you…because of you…and now father is losing his job because of you…just because you’re here…if only you were dead. We would be happier. Annabelle rubbed her swollen red eyes with her rough bare hands, hurting as she did. Her fingers were numb and red, looking like some piece of raw meat. Her body felt like it had traveled to Antarctica and jumped into the freezing cold water. But her pain…it was nothing compared to the monster biting at her fragile heart. That was deeper. The cold did bite, but the monster bit harder. The cold went deep, but the monster went deeper. And that monster…it was her very own family. Annabelle shook her head rapidly, snow flying here and there. Then, she realized, she was had fallen asleep in a pile of snow. Snow…cold and the color…of white…a mourning color. Winter…everything was dying. Should she just die too? It felt right dying in a pile of snow, the monster and the cold biting harder and harder…she would even have a burial. Beautiful snowflakes would bury her in their frosty whiteness and she would be content…wouldn’t she? Her family would be happy. She wouldn’t have to take the blame for everything bad anymore…she would be happy too, right? But her mother…she died so that Annabelle could live. She gave up her life for Annabelle. It would be too wrong to die if her mother had given up her life just for her.

    Annabelle rose from the pile of snow, brushing off some snow from her clothes, and only then did she realize that she was actually decent dressed…though it didn’t do much now, having been lying in the snow for two hours. She wondered why she didn’t die – after all, she had been sleeping and it was -20 degrees on this cold December day. She touched her warm earmuffs – previously warm earmuffs, they now felt like ice – and stroked the soft angel wings. Her mother had left them for her, her father had said, they were her mother’s and she wanted to pass them down to her only daughter. Annabelle grasped the earmuffs tightly despite their frostiness, and looked up into the sky. It had begun to snow again. She hugged her body, her pink sweater doing as much as it could – which wasn’t much – and her striped scarf wrapped around her neck was also doing its best – which also wasn’t much. Her legs were probably the coldest part of her body, only a skirt and leggings, though they got warmer to the bottom because of her black boots.

    “Mommy!!! Daddy!!!” a little girl cried. Annabelle immediately turned her head, looking around to see where that sound came from. It wouldn’t be too good if someone found her in a pile of snow all cold and whatnot – she would probably get sent home. An overdressed little girl ran alongside her parents, the mother was laughing as the girl tried to walk steadily. It was a little hard because of the various layers the little girl wore, making her look like a stuffed penguin. Annabelle huddled behind a snow-covered bush, making sure the family couldn’t see her. As the little girl wobbled, the mother laughed, as the little girl fell, the father encouraged her to continue. This hurt Annabelle’s eyes, the family was so loving, so full of the love that Annabelle never got to experience. My own mother…if she was alive…is that what we would’ve done? The happy family walked farther and she could still faintly hear them laughing and talking together. Her heart was filled with envy. Envy that the girl had a mother to talk with, to laugh with. She didn’t have that. Envy that the girl’s family loved her. Her own did not. And she was not only envious of the girl, but angry as well.

    Her family never did care. And wasn’t it a family’s duty to stand up for one another, to care? She recalled when she was younger, her school’s biggest bullies were terrorizing her and her brothers just looked on. They talked and laughed, as if they didn’t notice her crying and running away.

    “Matt! Dan! Help!” she had screamed, louder and louder each time until her throat was so hoarse, she couldn’t scream anymore. But they didn’t come. They never did. And so, the bullies took all her spending money and lunch money. It wasn’t much, but she knew that her father would not be happy. He had yelled at her that day and she got spanked – it was horrible. Her body had ached for days. Thinking about it was too much and she cried, not tears of sadness and obviously not tears of joy, but tears of anger. Why, why did her family hate her so? Was it just because of her mother’s decease when she was born? They never thought of her mother’s death as a sacrifice. Never. In fact, they never thought a lot of things that a family should have thought of. And with that, she made a final decision. She walked farther and farther, and although she was unsure of where she was going, she was sure of what she was doing. Her red hair flowed behind her as she looked up at the bright full moon. She was going to run away to a place with no pain, no hurt. She was going to find the perfect home.