• CHAPTER 5 - FORBIDDEN BUT HOPEFULLY FORGIVEN

    Have you ever wanted to do something totally crazy and completely forbidden? I had been lost in thought at what I could do. Should I help him, or have him fend off on his own?

    It had been a while since I last saw Kai. The last time I saw him was in his bedroom when he came to apologize for attacking me and when he told me everything about everyone. I felt so much better around him. Matsuda and Kira finally allowed me to leave the bedroom, still keeping an eye on me. I kept trying to convince them that Kai was fine and that he wasn't going to hurt me. I would always rub my bandages at the thought of Kai. The bandages weren't as severe now, but there was still a deep mark that needed to be covered.

    "How do waffles sound, Arisa?" Kira tied his apron around his waist. A big "Kiss the Cook" motto splashed right across it. I didn't understand how he couldn't be embarrassed wearing that.

    "It sounds great, Kira. Can I help?" I had always been curious about cooking. I've never tried it since the orphanage always made the food, so this could be my chance.

    Kira smiled widely and cheerful, "Of course you can. Matsuda and I usually make the food, but it wouldn't be such a problem to have another pair of hands in the kitchen. It's better for you to stay close anyways."

    I locked my jaw at that. Kai wasn't as dangerous, Kira. I was angry for once that Kira couldn't read my mind. Maybe if he listened to Kai? Nah, it wouldn't work.
    Kai had been acting differently towards me since that little PDA display in the bedroom. I assumed he had gotten carried away and lost in thought, but he's been acting different towards me in an affectionate way...when we're alone of course. He still acted cocky when others were around, but he puts on a whole different act when others are around. Maybe he's just embarrassed.

    "Okay, let's get these waffles started, Kira," Matsuda put on his apron too. Just like Kira's apron, Matsuda's apron had a big "Kiss the Angel" sprawled across it. I figured he custom-made that, seeing as he really was an Angel. But Kira...I could totally tell he saw it in a store, pointed at it and said an "Oooo lemme get it, lemme get it!" kind of thing. It's totally Kira.

    "Arisa's going to help us, Matsuda. She wants to learn."

    Matsuda smiled warmly, "Of course she can help. I need a witness to Kira's destructiveness."

    "Okay, so I almost cut your fingers off twenty-three times, but it can't get any worse, can it?"

    I laughed at Kira's immaturity, "Is Kira a good cook?"

    "He's really quite amazing, but he just lets his mind wander sometimes and he swings his weapons every which-way,"

    I backed away from Kira inch by inch. Kira laughed at me, "I'll keep my mind on track when you're around, okay, Arisa?"

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    The breakfast was amazing. Although at first I burned myself several times on the waffle iron and accidentally spilled too much oil into the mix and we had to throw it away. I offered Kira and Matsuda to take over, but they only nudged me so that I could do it myself. I was impressed at how well it turned out after nearly an hour and a half of perfect measurements. Of course, Kai made a couple of smart-a** comments to me and I just threw a chunk of waffle I was about to eat at him. After breakfast, I had gone back up to Kai's bedroom to change myself. Matsuda and I had gone shopping a couple of days ago and got me some brand new clothes. He told me that I should take a break from school for a while so I could get adjusted to my new life.

    I peeked my head outside of the bedroom door just as Matsuda had exited the bathroom, "Hey, Matsuda?"

    Matsuda turned towards me in curiosity, "Yes?"

    "Um, it won't be long but um, can I speak with Kai alone?"

    "Of course you can,"

    I held a stern look on my face, "I mean alone as in nobody is watching over us or listening to us,"

    Matsuda's face turned into concern, "Why?"

    "I have some things to...discuss with Kai. I don't want anybody else to hear."

    Matsuda frowned. He sighed in defeat and nodded, "Okay. I'll get Kai to come up."

    "Thank you, Matsuda,"

    Matsuda left hesitantly. I closed my door but left a crack open so Kai won't have to waste the energy turning the knob. I laughed at my own joke to myself. In what felt like three and a half seconds, Kai was already in the bedroom with the door shut behind him. He looked curious, "What's up?"

    I turned to Kai and I noticed I wasn't so surprised at his sudden appearance. He's a Vampire, he can teleport so I should get used to it, "Are they watching over us?"

    Kai shook his head, "No. Matsuda said him and Kira will stay downstairs. They're probably going to clean the kitchen or something."

    I took a deep breath in, held it a little bit, and then let it out. I couldn't believe I was about to do this, "Kai, can I ask you something?"

    "Um, sure,"

    I took another breath. I wanted to try to narrow things down so that I don't get to my point so suddenly, "How long has it been since you last fed?"

    Kai paused for a moment, "About a day. Why?"

    I shifted around and rubbed the sides of my knees together, "H-how are you feeling now?"

    "I'm...feeling fine," Kai was getting more curious. I could feel him staring at me with his stunning face.

    I bit my lip. If I wasn't gripping onto the comforter, my hands would have been shaking like crazy, "Are you...thirsty?"

    I glanced over at Kai and his eyes had widened. He backed up a little, "No, Arisa. I'm not going to."

    "Kai...," I wanted to convince him. I wanted to help him, "If you're thirsty, then just go ahead."

    Kai shook his head, "I'm not going to," his eyes were still a little wider than normal.

    If I knew how my special so-called "charm" worked, I'd totally use it against Kai right now, "Kai, please,"

    "Why are you asking me to do that?"

    "Because...I want to help you, Kai,"

    I looked down and I thought I had lost the battle. I wanted to help Kai. I wanted to make a promise with him. He kneeled down in front of me with a somewhat angered face. He stared me in the eyes.

    "Why, Arisa?"

    I didn't want to say anything. I didn't know why I had felt so strong about my decision, but it was made. I was just waiting for him to cave in. Kai clenched a fist and looked down.

    "You know how carried away I got the other night,"

    "That's because you were starving. I want what's best for you."

    Kai grabbed onto my wrist and it hurt. I tried to keep it out of my head so he wouldn't feel worse. He rose himself on his knees so that he was closer to my face.

    "You're...not scared,"

    I shook my head confidently although I really was scared. He traced over my neck and throat with the tips of his long nails.

    "You're not scared that I could take your life so easily?"

    Chills traveled down my spine again and I closed my eyes, waiting for his decision. I could hear his teeth grind together as he locked his jaw shut.

    "Don't...tempt me...," Kai growled through his teeth. He moved his hand to the back of my head.

    "I'll be okay," I choked on my words. I was scared and I didn't know exactly how carried away he would get.

    Kai sighed angrily. And all at once, his lips were surged to mine and my eyes snapped open. When my eyes did open the second our lips made contact, I was already looking up at the ceiling. I was completely taken over by confusion until I realized what he was doing. I struggled to remove him but it was no use; he was much too strong. His hands were still clamped to my wrist and on the back of my head and his fingers entangled in my hair again. His lips formed to the shape of mine and he didn't stop surging over and over again. He was sneaky; every time I would inhale, he would exhale and vise versa. I was getting freaked out and wanted to pull away, but my head was already as far back as it could go. Is this what he meant by getting carried away?

    My breath was completely taken from me once again. The tip of his tongue traced over the form of my top lip while I still attempted to shake him off. He finally pried his lips off of me and started kissing my cheek and my jaw line roughly. There was a short point where I was starting to regret offering him my blood. He just took my first kiss from me, I almost screamed. I covered up my mouth with my free hand and squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for this to be over. I kicked myself internally for having this scene run through my head multiple times already. Kira and Matsuda were probably in my head and they would come in and tear Kai's head off if they were to see us right now. Kai's lips trailed down to my neck opposite of my bandage where my first wound was. Kai finally paused.

    "You heard it the other night, didn't you?"

    "What?" I managed to speak while trying to catch my breath.

    "The sound of my taking of your blood. You heard me drink it?"

    I did. And it made me nauseous. I instantly started feeling more regret, but I would still stand strong by my decision. My thoughts were interrupted as I felt Kai's fangs make their way into my neck again. I gasped loudly and held my breath as Kai started his feeding once again. He removed his hand from my wrist and wrapped it tightly around my waist and held me close to him. He kept his other hand behind my head. I covered my mouth again to keep from wincing in pain. I felt similar pain that I felt the other night, but this wasn't as bad. I closed my eyes and waited for this to be over. I knew I wouldn't be able to wait too long in case Kai got carried away.

    I was still confused about one side of Kai. His Vampire side, his starving side. I didn't know how strong his lust was for my blood, but I was more than certain now that I could be in danger.

    Kai had been drinking too long. I grabbed onto his jacket and tried to pry him off of me, "Kai...,"

    Kai gripped me tighter and continued his feeding. I tried to speak more dominant, "Kai, that's enough,"

    Kai was refusing. I grabbed onto his head with all of my strength in both of my hands and pulled his head away from my neck, forcing his fangs out of my flesh which caused me to wince in pain. I held his head so I was looking right into his eyes, "Kai!"

    Kai's eyes were blood red again and I shivered. Kai's face looked angered but suddenly turned to worry, "Are you okay?"

    I paused for a moment, "No! You stole my first kiss!"

    "I wasn't asking about that!"

    "You drank a little more than intended, but still! Why the hell did you kiss me, you idiot?!"

    Kai paused and thought deeply for a moment. He had a glazed look on his face and I was almost thinking he had forgotten I had asked him a question, "Kai?"

    "I...I don't know," I could feel him grip my clothes and my hair tighter, "I...,"

    I wasn't going to let him go unless I had an answer. I tried to grip his shirt as tight as he was gripping mine, but it was frivilous to think something like that; he was 15 times stronger than me. He'd be able to leave my grip easily but I would have no chance in the world at leaving his.

    "I told you there was some sort of pull to you,"

    "Kai, you sound retarded. Get off."

    Damn Vampires anyways. Kai rose himself off of me and made his way to the door. He paused and turned around as I rose from the bed and rubbed my wound.

    "If you're wondering, that kiss didn't mean anything. It just...happened."

    "What, you mean you toy around with girls like that before you drink their blood?! Every time?!"

    Kai held his pointer finger up and looked away, angered, "Shut up," and he was gone.

    I didn't feel any different about Kai in the long term, but right now, I was infuriated with him. I couldn't believe he had the guts to do that; my first kiss. I wanted to punch him, but that would only break my fist against his stone face. I sighed and started hoping that he wouldn't get in trouble if Matsuda and Kira found out.

    I snuck out of the bedroom and into the bathroom. I turned on the lights and exposed myself to the brilliant bathroom once again. For just being a hallway bathroom, it was like a master bathroom. Light beige marble floors, burgundy trim and cupboards, white-grey marble sink and countertop with two trays of lavender-scented candels placed innocently next to the sink with neatly folded forest green towels in 3 different sizes, white-grey marble bath tub big enough to fit nearly 15 people I would assume and 13 different scented bubble bottles with 5 different bags of relaxation herbs. Near the bath tub was the white porcelain toilet with the same lavender candles placed on top of it. In the corner of the bathroom stood a little shower with a small and a large forest green towel draped over the top. The glass door was frosted but I had never felt comfortalbe taking showers in showers with glass doors. I don't know why, I'm just weird.

    I started the bath and poured in vanilla-scented bubbles. I never knew they had made bubbles like this before. I slipped my clothes off and took the bandage off of the first wound as I started the jets in the oversized jacuzzi. I dipped myself in, one inch at a time and slid my way to the back. I lowered myself so that the water was up to my chin. I needed to rinse the blood out. It stung when the bubble soap seeped in, but I don't want it to get infected or anything. I couldn't get the kiss out of my head. I'll bet Kai was watching inside of my head and laughing selfishly to himself downstairs. What a jerk, stealing my first kiss so abruptly. A little warning would have been nice. I sighed in defeat and brought myself under the vanilla-scented water.

    ~*~*~*~*~*~

    What Kai and I had done was completely forbidden; even I knew that. I was willing to break the rules in order to help him. I knew Kai better than that; it had been more than a day since he fed. It was that obvious. I was curious as to how much he fed regularly before I came along. I dried myself on and placed bandages over both wounds on either side of my neck. And I was smart enough to dress myself in a turtleneck so nobody would notice. I would have to break it to Matsuda eventually that I was wanting to give Kai any blood he needed. I didn't know how, though. It might not seem fair to Kira since he's a half Vampire and he needs the energy more than Kai does.

    "What have you gotten yourself into, Arisa?" I sighed angrily to myself.

    I heard Matsuda calling from down the stairs, "Arisa, dinner is almost ready," he sounded too cheerful. I hated the fact that I was going to ruin his good mood by telling him the forbidden act. Maybe since he's an Angel, he'll forgive me right away?

    I shrugged and threw my clothes down the chute. I know it sounds weird, but I love that chute so much. I've never had one before; it's just a hole in the ground! I didn't know where it really led to, but I had always been convinced it led to a laundry room or something.

    I snuck back into the bedroom and when I tried to shut the door behind me, somebody stopped it. I turned around and oh, what a surprise it was to see Kai standing there trying to look so innocent. As if he hadn't realized he took something very important from me and maybe even something more later on.

    "What do you want?"

    "Can I just talk with you?"

    I rolled my eyes and left the door, allowing his enterance. He slid in and shut the door stealthily. I quickly fixed the bed and tried as hard as I could to cover up the blood drops on the comforter. I figured I could wash it sometime, but I'd need to slide it past Matsuda and figure out how the washer and dryer work. Of course, if I would ask him, he would get suspicious. He can just figure things out like that, it's not fair.

    "What do you want to talk about, Kai? Have you come to take more than another kiss from me?"

    "Hey, that wasn't intended!"

    I was getting annoyed, "Then why did you do it?!"

    "It just...happened,"

    "Yeah, sure," it was such a petty argument. I should just put it all behind me, but like the attack, I couldn't just forget about it.

    "Don't tell me you're comparing the kiss to the attack,"

    "Well, let's see how they compare; I didn't want to do either, you wouldn't stop, and also, I didn't enjoy either of them,"

    I turned towards Kai and I gasped. He looked pained...horribly pained...

    "Kai...I...,"

    Kai sighed, "You don't realize it, do you?"

    "Realize what?"

    Kai looked over at me, "I despise myself for being this...monster," he said the last word sharply.

    "Why?"

    "Because...I've killed too many people,"

    My heart skipped a beat and I backed away from him a little. He's killed people?

    "It was during the first several years of being a newborn Vampire. It's common, but I felt such guilt."

    I swallowed the lump in my throat, "H-how many people have you killed in your life?"

    Kai tucked his hands into his pockets and smiled that familiar weakened smile, "I'd estimate around 57 humans,"

    I couldn't breathe. I grasped my chest and sat myself down on the bed. He's killed around 57 humans...and that's just his estimate! I could have been one of them.

    "So if you're thinking about being my main donor, then don't get your hopes up. I'm not going to kill you like that."

    Oh, really? "Like that" makes me feel worlds better, Kai. So how are you going to kill me exactly? I couldn't just let him find his own way of killing me. I stood up and made my way to the door after catching my breath.

    "I need to speak with Matsuda. You're coming with, Kai."

    I opened the door and grabbed Kai by the cuff of his sleeve and dragged him down the stairs with me. Matsuda was already at the doorway of the kitchen, preparing himself to call Kai and me down for dinner.

    "Oh, Arisa, Kai, dinner's ready,"

    "Matsuda, may I speak with you?"

    "Of course. Do you want to go someplace private?"

    "We don't have time, Matsuda. I need to tell you something right now."

    "And what is that, Arisa?"

    I started choking on my words again and took a deep breath. I gripped the cuff of Kai's sleeve tighter and my palms started sweating. I wanted to tell Matsuda in the nicest way without being so abrupt as I was going to be. I made my decision and I don't care if everybody hates me for it. Kai won't want to feed off of other humans since he's gotten a sample of my blood twice already. I wanted to help him so much. I stood confidently and held my chin up.

    "I've...made a decision, Matsuda," I glanced back at Kai and then back to Matsuda, "I've made up my mind; hate me if you want to, but I'm going to give Kai any blood he will need from now on,"

    Matsuda's eyes widened and Kai's body stiffened. Kira was standing behind Matsuda and he didn't take my eys off of me. It's forbidden, but I'll forgive myself if it's for the better.