The English Courtyside!!!

• Artist: Soccerchick09812
• Description:
• Date: 11/19/2008
• Tags: english courtyside

heart heart I was riding along in the countryside of England I looked over the back of my horse, and I saw him. Blonde hair, deep sea green eyes, and the most handsome smile that I had ever seen. Then another horse rode alongside him, I recognized the other rider at once. My father. I turned in my saddle so I was side-saddle. I straightened my hair, and looked to see my father at my side, hand outstretched to take the reigns, I handed him the reings.
"WHAT do you think you are doing riding unescourt in the countryside!!!!!"
"I am sorry father, I should have know better."
"Next time think before you act girl."
"Yes father."
"By the way this is Allen he is my new apprentice."
"Hello, umm...."
"This is my daugther, Jenna."
"Hi!" I said weakly.He looked at me before my father jerked the reings.
"Take the reings, Allen after all you need to learn how to treat a young woman who does not listen to her father."
Allen slowed his pace to match my horse's pace, my father rode ahead. Allen looked at me.
TO BE CONTINUE
heart heart

Comments

[XxFollow_the_White_Rabbit]

awww... i like it, but you need to pay attention to punctuation.

[Sepharone]

Watch spelling: "I straightened my hair, and looked to see my father at my side, hand outstretched to take the reigns, I handed him the reings."
Also, the word "reigns" is repetitive. say "I handed them to him," or something.
Use punctuation?
I like how you remembered a new line for each individual speaker, but "Next time, think before you act, girl."
"Yes, father."
etc.

Also, "Hello, umm . . ." you should use an ellipses (three spaced out periods.) instead of four close ones.

[dre2014]

thats good