• Prologue


    It was cold that night, and the stars didn’t seem as bright as they had before to Michael’s eyes. The bite of the winter’s air relieved some of the aching sadness that seemed to consume his being at that time. Normally the winter was the best season in his mind, but this time around it seemed more dreary and cold than it had in the past. It was also her favorite time of the year and this fact seemed to make him sadder. There were now going to be the rest of the winters of his life that he had to live through without her. The tears that seem to fill his eyes threatened to break over, but he held them at bay. It would not be a good idea for her to see his tears now or else she would not be at peace as she passed away. He took a deep breath and made his way back into the house to be with her in her final moments. He walked back into the house, taking off his coat and hanging it on the coat rack that was on the left of the front door.

    Michael clenched his teeth until they hurt before he walked up the stairs to Julia’s room. The tears that he had been keeping at bay for so long almost spilled over as he looked at her laying there in the bed looking so tired.


    Julia felt more than saw Michael as he walked back into her room. Her hazel eyes looked in his direction and she felt her lips curve in a weak smile. “Hi. Are you okay?” she asked. She felt guilty that she was putting him through all of this and wondered constantly if they had never met whether or not this would’ve been easier or harder. It had been nearly a year now since they had found the cancer in her lungs, and she had stopped responding to chemotherapy about four months ago. When she had found that out it had broken her heart because she knew that once that happened the chances of her living were slim to none. The thought of leaving all of her loved ones behind especially Michael had made her cry numerous times over the last few days. They had told her she had maybe five or six months to live, but unfortunately the cancer spread faster than they had anticipated. She had started coughing up blood about four days ago, and her body had started to finally give out on her. When she had gone to see the doctors they had told her that by now there was nothing they could do, but make her comfortable. For the last three days she had been in bed, laying there with Michael or her parents by her side or sleeping. She knew now that it was time to finally let go and she wanted Michael to be the one by her side as she went. Julia felt immensely tired at that moment and she could barely muster up the strength to smile at him anymore.

    She looked so frail and fragile as she laid there and outstretched her hand out to him. He felt his heart contract as he looked at her face and knew it was time. Michael walked over to him and laid down on the bed beside her. Moving with caution, he eased her into his arms and rested her head on his chest. He felt the tears there ready to fall and he had to shut his eyes to prevent them from sliding down his cheeks.

    Julia laid her hand on his chest over his heart, and just rested there for a moment before she spoke.

    “I want you to be happy, so please don’t hold on when I go. I want you to be able to move on and live your own life.” she said quietly.

    “I can’t promise you anything, Julia because you are the love of my life and I don’t know if I can move on without you.”

    Julia felt tears slide down her cheeks, “I love you, Michael and I want you to be happy and live a happy, full life. Even if it has to be without me. I am sorry that I got you involved with this and I sometimes wonder if would’ve been better if we had just never met so that we both wouldn’t have had to go through this loss.”

    Michael softly tightened his grip around her slender body and kissed the top of her head.
    “I am glad to have met you and loved you. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

    They both laid in silence for a while, but then she started to get really tired and barely managed to move her head to look up at him.

    “I love you, Michael.” She whispered before she softly kissed him on the lips.

    Michael ran his hand through her hair softly, and kissed her forehead gently. “I love you too, Julia. With all of my heart.”

    Julia closed her eyes as she rested her head back against his chest, and she felt peace as she fell asleep. Within five minutes of her being sound asleep her heart slowed and her breathing started to become distant in between breaths and eventually her heartbeat stopped. The ivory pale slim hand that had rested on Michael’s chest went limp and as Michael felt this he let the tears fall that he had held in for so long. He had finally found the love of his life and just as quickly he had lost her. Michael softly rested his cheek against her head and just stayed there for a while like that.




    One year later

    “Do you think he will ever pull out of this? I mean Julia has been gone for about a year now and he still keeps isolating himself from everyone.” A blonde girl asked a rather tall red headed man.

    The man shrugged softly, “I don’t know whether or not he will, Kim. I know you have a thing for him, but Michael loved Julia with everything he had. He wanted to marry her and have children with her, what do you expect? Loving someone like that and then losing them is hard on the heart and mind, so don’t expect anything to change. He has said before that he is willing to live life alone rather than spend it with any other woman. I doubt he will ever change his mind if I know Michael.”
    Kim sighed softly and looked over at Michael sitting on the grass against the trunk of a willow tree that was in front of the University.

    Michael could hear a bit of their conversation and almost gagged on the soda he was drinking when he heard Kim had a thing for him. That obnoxious blonde had a crush on him? The thought made him inwardly groan because he had no interest in her or any other girl for that matter. He stared blankly at the ground in front of him as he thought about Julia. It had been a year now since she had died and he still felt as if it had been yesterday. He moved on with his life and got accepted to the University he had always dreamed of going to, but he couldn’t love anyone else except her.

    There was a soft husky laugh that seemed to catch Michael’s ear and he wondered if he was hearing things since it sounded just like Julia’s laugh. He brushed it off as if he were dreaming, but then he heard her voice that accompanied that laugh. What the hell? He turned around to search out the source of these laughs and that voice and he dropped his soda can when he saw Julia. It wasn’t just as if he was seeing a ghost, she was walking and talking to two other girls.

    “Julia?!” he yelled.

    The girl he was looking at looked up at him and her brow furrowed softly. Her name was indeed Julia and in a way she was Julia, but in a way she wasn’t. She had the same appearance with her long wavy raven hair, pale golden complexion and light hazel eyes that could entrance anyone if they looked at her long enough. Who was that guy yelling her name as if he knew her? A name popped into her head about of nowhere and it made her frown slightly. Michael? Where did that name come from? Julia looked to her friend, Sarah to ask her who he was.

    “Hey, Sarah, who is that guy?”

    Sarah looked at Michael and then back at Julia, her eyes widening a bit as she realized why Michael was looking at her like that. “Ohhh, that is Michael. You actually look exactly like he girlfriend that died a year ago, and spooky enough you also have her first name.”
    Julia felt dumbfounded for a moment and then looked back at Michael. She looked like his girlfriend that had died? It was odd though that his name had popped into her head randomly like that. She wasn’t sure she knew what was going on right now. How did she know his name and why did she feel this intense feeling like she knew him? It was almost difficult to explain, but it was as if she was grasping at a fading dream. That frustrating sensation when you are trying so hard to remember pieces of a dream and all it seems to be is pictures in a foggy mist. The only clear thing that seemed to be in her mind was his name. She felt as if she recognized his face, but once again it wasn’t clear. It felt as if she was in a dream and couldn’t wake up. Julia just wished it was that simple, but it wasn’t.