collision course(chapter 1)

• Artist: piemanpie-dragontheif
• Description: A giant meteor is coming to crash into earth,(No, Bruce Willis is not going to save the day)
• Date: 01/25/2009
• Tags: meteors

PROLOUGE
Jen was standing on her balcony when she heard a faint whistling sound, like a tea kettle that has been left on too long. Suddenly, there was a flash in the sky, and accompining this flash are those erie tea kettle wails, except that they were much louder, like the whine of a jet engine. She looked up, and sees a huge dark spot in the sky. Suddenly, the shadow gets bigger! Jen screams, not knowing why, but it was a scream she would never finish, because at that exact moment, the meteor fragment sends a car flying straight for her head...

Comments

[Shanra the Dragon Bard]

I love your description..Bruce Willis. LOL Ok, now for some helpful, constructive criticism.
Your entry, though only a prolouge, uses both past and present tense, when it should only use one or the other. She "was" standing on her balcony, hence past action. "She looked up, and sees", you use both past and present in the same sentence. You need to work on that. But I would be interested to find out if Jen survives the car to her head.