• How To Go Nowhere Faster

    Andy

    It takes ten seconds for me to get annoyed, to get tired of waiting. Which is why standing in the mile-long lunch line didn’t look appeasing.

    Brian, who knew me too well by now, handed me what was left of his tuna fish sandwich without comment. I took it gratefully - though even thinking about tuna makes my teeth hurt - and sat next to him on the bench.

    “What do you have next?”

    “Chemistry.” I had a bit of mayonnaise on my cheek and wiped it off with my finger before licking the digit clean.

    “That’s disgusting.” Brian was grossed out, his lips pulled into a grimace that looked more like a sneer.

    “You’re such a germaphobe. I mean, you’ll share this sandwich with me, that you’ve bitten, but I lick my finger -”

    “You’re unwashed finger.”

    “- My unwashed finger, and you make a big deal out of it.”

    “It’s just gross, okay?”

    I dropped it and continued to eat. His sandwich had the crusts cut off, I wondered absently if his mom made it like that for him. Me and Brian weren’t exactly what you’d call cool, or attractive.

    He was tall and a little overweight. Not really fat, but solid. He probably could’ve made a good football player if he didn’t hate every guy on the team. i was the opposite, way too skinny with bad clothes and a worse haircut. It didn’t help that I was a bit of a nerd.

    So somehow, sometime in grade nine, we were thrown together. We didn’t really have all that much in common except a love for science fiction books and music of the punk-rock genre. We’d hang out at lunch and talk about all the girls who’d never date us, though to tell the truth I wasn’t really interested in the girls who went to our school. All of them were dyed blondes or dyed brunettes who lived up in River Heights and drove their parent’s cars to school. I didn’t know what I wanted in a girl, but it certainly wasn’t that.

    But I didn’t get along with any of the guys either. If Brian could’ve been on the football team then I could’ve been in the Chess Club or the Debate Team or something. ‘I certainly fit in with the stereotype of what a nerd should look like.’ I thought bitterly as I cleaned my glasses with the edge of my No Effects T-shirt.

    “What’re you doing after school?” Brian's voice broke into my thoughts, and his eyes seized me up the way they always did; it felt a little unsettling.

    “Going to see a movie with my supermodel girlfriend.” The sarcasm wasn’t needed as we both knew the statement was a joke. I had no job, I wasn’t in any clubs, and I didn’t see myself getting a girlfriend anytime soon. I pretty much went home everyday, jerked off, and watched Wheel of Fortune with my mom.

    Brain laughed because he knew I was full of s**t. “You wanna come over then? ‘Cause I just got a new GameStation. Unless of course you’re looking forward to “spinning the wheel” or something.”

    I rolled my eyes at him but felt my lips ease into a smile. I looked down quickly and started cleaning my glasses again.

    XOXO

    Jessie

    I stared at my face in the mirror and pressed in close, trying to decipher whether the tiny bump on my forehead was a zit or not. Deciding it wasn’t, (but putting on some concealer just to be safe) I stepped away from the mirror and stared at myself. My makeup was perfect, my clothes: perfect, and my shoelaces were tied. Even my greenish-orange hair didn’t seem too bad.

    I was ready.

    Taking a deep breath, I stepped out into the crowded hall and put on my face: The big smile I usually wore to fake like my life was perfect; like I was happy, like seeing Andy sitting there with his sandwich didn’t fill me with an emotion so strong that it ******** burned sometimes.

    “Hey guys, what’s up?”

    Andy looked up first, a shy smile spreading across his features. “Hey Jessie.” He was polishing his glasses, a nervous habit he had. I wondered if I made him nervous and the thought nearly made me shiver.

    “Hi.” Brian said then, barely looking up to acknowledge me. I didn’t really like Brian, and I don’t think he really liked me. And I would be fine with that if it weren't for how he was always hogging Andy. Me and I had been friends since grade four, when my brother had cut the head off my Barbie doll and Andy had fixed it for me. We had always been together, and then last year Brian had just decided to butt in and become Andy’s friend too. But still, to be polite - and because it pissed Andy off when we fought - I said Hi back and slid down against a locker to sit next to Andy.

    “So,” I started, turning to Andy and hoping to god that there wasn’t food in my teeth, “Do you wanna help me watch Chuck today? Mrs. Norton said you could help.” Chuck was actually Mrs. Norton’s fat ginger cat, and watching it wasn’t really hard work. Still though, my fists were clenching and unclenching in the pockets of my hoodie, a nervous habit that I had; as I wished he would say yes. As I wished he would tell Brain to ******** off and leave us alone. As I wished he’d ask me out because we’d make such a good couple.

    But Andy didn’t ask me out; in fact he didn’t really say much of anything as he glanced over in Brian’s direction worriedly.
    “Well, Brian kind of already asked me t-”

    “We were going to go to my house, play some video games, y’know?” Brian interrupted “But we could help you. Me and Andy could play games anytime, so we can do it later - I mean...if you still want us to help?”

    I felt my fists clench in my pocket, this time my nails digging in so deep I was sure they would leave a mark. But I couldn’t let Andy see my smile waver, couldn’t let him see how disappointed I was. So instead I smiled brighter than the ******** sun. “Sounds good, the more the merrier right?”

    I saw Andy smile at Brian, but Brian didn’t smile back; instead he was staring at me strangely, his eyes narrowed as if he’d just realized something important. I felt shock lance through me for a moment. Felt a little too off-balance, a little too raw. I felt myself slip, for just a moment, but then my smile was back in place, though wavering.

    “Thanks guys, I’ll meet you after school by Shibly’s, okay?”

    I saw Andy and Brian both nod, both of them smiled back at me, but I barely noticed as I walked quickly - very quickly - in the other direction.

    XOXO

    In the bathroom I ran the tap hot and stared into the mirror until my reflection clouded, until my eyes looked hollow and my lips were just a slash of red on the glass. I picked up the scissors and started chopping, watching orange-green locks fall to the floor.