• Emmett and Waldo . . .
    Alice: OMG! Bella lets go shopping!

    Bella: OMG! Ok!

    Edward: No! Since I am way too overprotective and I don’t listen to reason, I will not allow you to go anywhere without protection!

    Bella: But I’ll have Alice…

    Edward: NO!

    Bella: FINE! Be like that! -Pouts-

    BUT SUDDENLY…..

    -Emmettt bursts into the room-

    Emmettt: Never fear! Emmett is here!

    -Rips off clothes to reveal neon orange tights and a tank top-

    Everyone: Eww…

    Alice: Emmettt, what are you doing here? AND IS THAT MY SHIRT!

    -Alice rips off shirt in a fit of psychotic rage-

    Everyone: GASP!

    Emmettt: I’m here to take you to the mall!

    Alice and Bella: Why?

    Emmettt: Because, um. See they have this new store that I wanna check out… and yeah.

    Alice: Oooh! New store? What is it, what is it? –jumps up and down-

    Emmett: Uhh. I Can’t tell you.

    Alice: Why not?

    Emmett: Because.

    Alice: Emmett, if you don’t tell me, I will burn all of your Care Bears.

    Emmett: NO! Not the Care Bears, anything but them! -sobs-

    Alice: So tell me.

    Bella: Yeah!

    Edward: Umm. I’m just gonna leave now…

    Emmett: Fine. The store I want to visit is…

    DUN-DUN-DUN…

    Emmett: Build-A-Bear!

    Alice and Bella: …

    Edward(In singsong voice): Look who’s coming out of the closet…

    Emmett: Hey! I’m not gay! I just like stuffed animals. A lot. twitch

    -Alice and Bella start inching away-

    Emmett: Hey! Get over here! The mall closes in eight hours and I want as much time as possible. So hurry, TO THE BEARMOBILE!

    Bella: Umm. Emmett, since when have we had a Bearmobile?

    Emmett: since I bought one.

    Alice: Where the heck would you buy a Bearmobile?

    Emmett: Wal-Mart.

    Alice and Bella: Ahh…

    -Emmett grabs Bella and Alice and straps them into the Bearmobile-

    Bella: Emmett, this is your Jeep.

    Emmett: Nu-uh.

    Alice: Um. Yuh-huh.

    Emmett: Nuh-uh, I spray-painted Bearmobile on the hood. So there!

    Alice: And you did that why?

    Bella: Because he’s an idiot.

    Alice: Oh yeah…

    30 Seconds later…

    Bella: Well Emmett, here we are.

    Emmett: OMG, OMG, OMG! –Runs around like a headless chicken-

    Help me pick one out Bella!

    Bella: sigh If I must.

    Alice: So Emmett, which one do you want? There’s a bear, a frog, a giraffe...

    Emmett: OMG, A GRIZZLY BEAR!

    Bella: Emmett, that’s not a bear, that’s a frog…

    Emmett: Yaaaaaaaaaay!

    Bella: Whatever.

    -Emmett goes over to an employee-

    Emmett: I got a bear, I got a bear! Help me stuff it!

    Random Employee: Um. I’m actually a cashier…

    Emmett: STUFF IT.

    Random Employee: Ok, Ok!

    -They go over to the Stuff-O-Matic-

    Random Employee: Ok, your bear is stuffed. Now pick out a heart.

    Emmett: OMG hearts! –grabs one-

    Emmett: Where do I put it, where do I put it?

    Random Employee: Right there.

    -Emmett stuffs it in-

    Random Employee: Sir that was in the head…

    -Emmett glares-

    Random Employee: Okay, okay! Bye now! –Runs Away-

    Emmett: Hooray!

    Alice: Ok Emmett, what do you want to name your new frog?

    Emmett: Not frog, BEAR!

    Alice: But it’s a frog…

    Emmett: BEAR!

    Bella: Wait, stop the fighting you two, how about Brog?

    Emmett: Ok!

    Alice: Whatever… Ok, then, what do you want to name your new Brog?

    Emmett: Let me think.

    Bella: I didn’t think that was possible.

    Emmett: Hey!

    -Half an hour later-

    Emmett: I’ve got it!

    Bella: Huh! Wuzzat?

    Alice: Bella, wake up. He’s done.

    Bella: Oh. About time Emmett!

    Alice: So what’s its name?

    Emmett: His name is Waldo!

    -Blank Stares-

    Emmett: So what do you think?

    Alice: It’s hideously ugly,

    Bella: But if it gets us out of here, I’m all for it.

    Emmett: Yay!

    Alice: Now for the fun part! Time to pick out CLOTHES!

    Bella: Okay Alice, but please don’t go overboard…

    -Alice drags Bella to the clothes section-

    Bella: Oh lord.

    Four hours, one Brog and 685 complete accessorized outfits later…

    Bella: Umm. Alice, didn’t Carlisle say you only had $400 to spend?

    Alice: Um. Yeah, why?

    Bella: Well your total here comes to $9678.50. Isn’t that a little much?

    Alice: Oh well.

    Bella: sigh

    2 minutes later…

    Emmett: We’re home everybody!

    -Edward, Jasper, and Rosalie come running out-

    Edward: Bella! Oh thank god, I’ve been so worried!

    Bella: Edward, we only went to the mall. Why were you worried?

    Edward: Bella, do you realize that you have been gone nearly six hours?

    Bella: Oh…

    -Edward and Bella go inside-

    Jasper: You know Alice, you really need to stop all the six hour shopping trips, it can’t be healthy. I mean, especially this. It’s a BEAR for crying out loud! How much clothes can you buy for a BEAR?

    Alice: Brog.

    Jasper: What?

    Alice: It’s a Brog. Emmett insists on calling his frog a bear and so Bella came up with Brog.

    Jasper: Okay then.

    -Alice and Jasper leave, Rosalie advances menacingly on Emmett-

    Emmett: H-hey baby, have you met Waldo?

    -Rosalie pulls out numb chucks-

    Rosalie: We were supposed to go to the movies TWO HOURS AGO!

    Emmett: I’m sorry Rosie, you know how I get distracted, and I was just having so much fun…

    -Rosalie swings numb chucks-

    Emmett: EEEK!

    -Emmett runs way like a scared little girl-

    Rosalie: Yeah, you better run!

    -Rosalie picks up Waldo-

    Rosalie: Hmm. What have we here? You know, these things are actually kind of cute. If only Emmett weren’t so distracted by it… HEY! I’ve got it! The perfect revenge! I just need to take Mr. Waldo into my evil lair for some tinkering. -Evil laugh-

    In Rosalie’s evil layer…

    Rosalie: Ok, now to implant the high-tech robot wiring that I magically poofed into existance… And done!

    Rosalie: Now we’ll see just how cuddly you can be Mr. Waldo . . .

    BUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!
    To be Continued . . .