Wanted : Preface

• Artist: omg tiger_lilii
• Description: I hope u like it . ^_^
• Date: 07/10/2009
• Tags: wanted preface

I was with my mom at the mall when suddenly we heard a big POW!!! Everyone was screaming and running , I got separated from my mom. I was a curious kid so I ran the opposite direction to see what the big pow was. There were three men in masks ; they each had guns. I assumed that they shot someone, but I guess it was a warning shot.
Anyway, a guy told me to get down on my knees and said if I spoke he’d “shoot” me. But I said “Butt face Jerk! “ when he walked away. Unfortuantlly he heard me and he held he’s gun up to my fore head and was about to shoot.
But as soon as he was about to pull the trigger, a boy jumped out of nowhere and kicked the gun out of the guy’s hand and shouted, “Run!” So I did. I ran into the janitor’s closet and he followed. I looked to see if I recognized him but I didn’t. All I know was that he had straight brown hair and brown eyes. He had saved me from that guy and what was weird that he only was 9. Do you know why I say its weird? Because most 9 -year-old boys aren’t so brave.
So after an hour had passed the police showed up.
I said bye and thanked Max. And I haven’t seen him since.

Comments

[Keran-Delano]

oh and i know it just a preface prologue whatever you call it... it could really use some detail.

[Keran-Delano]

hmm there is a spelling mistake when you said He's gun it supposed to be his gun. And you need to add deatail. Is the child with the mom a boy or a girl? YOu definately need to add more deatail. And probably get an editor too X3 but over all and all it good.

[ptlyah]

too breif at the end,
but the start was good!
well done!

[omg tiger_lilii]

rate and comment please