• The day was gray and the mist of the endless ocean, which I found so pleasant once in my life, seemed to be mocking the shameless drops driving down my cheeks. Everyone had once told me to never forget the memories I possessed of the now deceased. Hypocrites, that’s what they all were. They had insisted plentiful times for me to grip the memories of my mother and never let them go, but a week had passed; and so the tears and agonizing sorrow had fled into a mere frown when her name was mentioned.

    My name didn’t escape anyone’s mouth. They convinced themselves that I was progressing every day that I was getting better… as if something was wrong with me. I did not see why those who surrounded me were waiting for that day when I would smile, when I would be back “to my normal self”. They persuaded themselves that I was fine and just needed my space, and this sickened me.

    I was miserable, heartbroken, irritated, and furious all at the same time. My emotions were mixed and so tightly hidden that I couldn’t talk or do what I wanted the most right then and there; to scream out until my lungs would burst out of me in agony, and leave me breathless for the rest of my life.

    I pulled out my pocket knife and dug it in the tree next to me. I cursed everyone I knew in my head, I blamed them, hated them, I bargained with the one they called our lord and savior to make this event just a dream. I couldn’t see… the liquid salty substance building up and pouring out of my eyes blinded me; they burned in a way that I strangely liked. I bit my lip hard enough to pull it apart if I’d wanted to. I gripped the wooden handle of the weapon hard…my fingers ached. I didn’t care. I wanted to be upset I wanted to create destruction in the most concealed way. The knife was dug deep into the trunk of the innocent living organism and I pulled it down slowly. I did it again. And again. And again.

    This wasn’t fixing anything, everyone was right. Something WAS wrong with me. I was broken; and the most important pieces were missing, they were underground with her… being eaten away by the creatures of nature. I dropped to the ground; my buckling knees slid themselves down the rough trunk. I cried for what seemed an eternity. Then I stopped, and cried again. The water being drained out of me made me lighter, stronger in some way. I found my voice. I grunted, and groaned softly… a mere whisper. It wasn’t enough. I gripped the wooden handle with both hands and with a massive scream I dug the knife into the tree.

    “Either something’s wrong with you or that tree made a death penalty felony”

    I turned quickly to see who the owner of this childish comment was and to my surprise I didn’t recognize him. Taking in count the small territory this town possessed it was rather strange for me to have never seen him before.

    “I don’t usually take guesses, but I’m betting on my first theory”

    “Leave” I said in a commanding and frightening voice.

    “I don’t see as to why I should, it’s a free country wouldn’t you agree”

    “Leave NOW” I said again even louder this time.

    I had turned my gaze back into the suffering tree and only heard his footsteps. They got louder instead. He was not leaving. He was approaching me. He sat next to me and looked away into the ocean without saying a word.

    “What are you doing?” I said with serious curiosity.

    Why would someone in the presence of another who was in such a wreck act as if nothing was wrong, as if they didn’t noticed.

    “I’m sitting” he said

    “Why?” I asked again

    “Because I can” This time he smiled softly and slowly turned his gaze towards me.

    “Does my current miserable position amuse you!?” I was getting angry, he was mocking me and it made me furious.

    “I think you’re rather crazy” He said while laughing, he then lay down and looked up to the sky.
    I was infuriated and didn’t know what to say. I wanted to break him to shreds and stomp him into the ground.


    “I thought it was pretty obvious something was wrong, why ask what I already know? To be honest I was more interested in you than your sob story. I didn’t really care what was wrong” he said while smiling up to the sky.

    “Have you no sympathy?” I said while tears built up once again

    He turned to me, looked at me softly and said “why give you what you don’t want?”