It was just another dreadful Monday morning, another beginning of the week. I did my regular morning routine which consisted of cursing as I raised my eye lids slowly, because it's too early for me to be waking up, brushing my teeth and taking a quick morning shower. I was running late again, so I ran out to catch the bus. As I was waiting for my bus it started to rain, so I leaned against an old barky tree and hoped I wouldn’t get soaked. I waited for about ten minutes till the bus finally showed up. I walked quickly to the door and walked up the stairs. I sat down by my wonderful friend Madison, but everyone called her Maddie.
"Hey Maddie you look like you woke up a bit to early" I exclaimed, still half asleep myself.
"You just know exactly what to say to make a girl feel good, don't you?" she questioned in her half serious, half playful voice.
We sat down and told each other what we did over the weekend and what we wanted to do instead. Most of the Monday conversations had a way of being repeated later in the week. So we got to school we shared a breakfast (sausage and biscuit) but she was a vegetarian so she always gave the sausage to me.
The bell rang and the school day began. I would tell you what I did in those classes, but honestly I usually slept through them. I had five classes a week which were the basic English, History, Science, and then I took a Gym and Programming as easy classes to pass. They all were easy classes to keep up with but I had to write a short story for my English class and my brain doesn't function properly with words in the morning, so I saved it until the deadline, which was in a few days.
Well, most of that day flew past me real quickly and then my last class of the day rolled around which was my Chemistry. I walked into class and Maddie saved me a seat next to her which was normal because there was a bunch of freaks in the class. Not really freaks but smart people who would tell you everything about anything and would share their random knowledge with you, even if you didn't want it. We had a substitute that day which made the class a bit more relaxing and laid back. The teacher however, looked a little bit like Mr. Clean so we told each other some jokes about how his head reflected the light so well it could burn ants.
The bell rang for the last time of the day and school was out, the halls flooded with the students rushing to get out. I walked with Maddie at a slower pace to the bus and we sat down and looked out that window beside us and commented on everything we saw. She got off shortly before I did and if there was anything that I thought she should have seen I would text her about it. I got home and took a nap to catch up on the sleep I lost by waking up to early in the morning. It was a few hours later when I got up, I went on my computer and went on Myspace. I checked some messages and made myself a pizza which was really a frozen pizza I just put in the oven.
Each day was the same, same rumors and stories just new faces who talked about them. I kind of was spaced out I guess because the rest of the day was kind of a blur and I don't remember too much of what I did which most likely means I did nothing worth remembering.. That was the case up until Friday, I met Maddie at lunch and we made plans to hang out together this weekend. She came up with weird ideas like giant marshmallow fights then being rolled around in a dryer. Then we would do something less creative and decided to watch a movie or just relax at her house.
Friday night came and I drove to her house and rang her doorbell a few times. I was nervous but I always am when I'm around her because I try my best to impress her. She answered the door, "Hey Alex come in."
I walked in and it was neat and tidy, you could almost see the details in your face when you looked down at the hardwood floor..
"Are your parents neat freaks?" I asked her.
"Nope, just me." She smiled and tilted her head trying to act like the innocent girl she was. She offered me a drink but I wasn't thirsty.
I spoke up and said, "So about that giant marshmallow fight, they said they didn't sell them the size we wanted." I said while smiling and trying not to laugh.
She smiled again with the same innocent face and then she said "Inside my dryer would be fun to try if it didn't hurt." I wondered if she ever tried it before and if she did if it actually did hurt. An awkward silence came between us and she felt it too; then we both started to laugh.
"So how about a movie," she didn't mean it as a question since she had the remote in her hand and was pressing play. It was a movie about a haunted house which was a decent movie, which it would have been better if she wasn't screaming half the time. Her head fell on my shoulder and we never spoke a word while the movie was playing. My heart was pounding a mile a minute and I looked down and I seen my chest actually beating the same rate as my heart. I was about to burst in laughter again but I remained quiet and just let out a sideways grin.
The movie was almost over and it was starting to get dark. Her dad Rick pulled in the driveway and came inside and looked at us. He came in and took his coat and shoes off. We were pretty cool and I sometimes wished he was my own father. I looked over at Maddie and she was sleeping, so I got up and she woke up and rubbed her eyes. I looked over at Rick and he gave me 'the look'. I took it as I better go and it was getting pretty late. I gave her a hug and slipped away.
"I'll call you or you can call me later" I told her. After that I put my shoes on and drove myself home. My mind was racing and I was in a giggle mood. "I think I’m falling for her." I said to myself in my head.
My phone went off in my pocket and I checked and I had a text. It was from Maddie, she wrote "Hey sorry about my dad you didn't really have to go." I told her it wasn't a problem it was getting late anyways and to tell Rick I said hello but I really wanted to turn around and stay with her a bit longer. I got home and went inside and headed straight to my bed.
I woke up about noon the next day and checked my phone I had some messages from a few friends then I seen Maddie's. She was heading to my house in the morning she wrote. I looked at the time and it was a few hours ago. She must have come to the door while I was sleeping. I called her and she didn't pick up, so I decided to call back later. I had a quick breakfast, which was a bowl of cereal and a glass of apple juice. I washed up and put on clean clothes.
I debated if I should tell Maddie how much I really liked her or if that would scar her away and make things different between us. I decided I would take the risk, I would tell her as soon as I seen her. I attempted to call her again and the phone rang a few times.. It sounded like a man on the other line, "Who is this?" he asked me.
"Its Alexander, is this Rick?"
"Yeah it's me" he sounded upset as if he was crying.
"What's wrong?" I asked him.
"Maddie is hurt and I’m here at the hospital, I think it would be best if you came and visit her." I was shocked when he told me this, I told him I was on my way right now. I didn't hear is voice anymore so I hung up and drove my car.
I was driving like a mad man breaking at least 3 laws but I lost count and I didn't care. I didn't know what was going on and I was worried. I drove up, parked, and walked inside to meet Rick. "Is she ok?" I asked him.
"Doctor said he's not sure." You could tell he was upset but trying to hold back his tears in front of everyone. I wasn't sure if what heard was real or just a really bad nightmare that I would be so grateful if someone was to pinch me.
"She was out driving around to go visit you Alex." He said but not in a harsh manner as I was planning. A feeling of guilt came over me after I realized that it was true. I was still in some shock and I managed to spit out some words that came together, it was more like a cry for mercy then anything else.
"I'm sorry Rick; I didn't mean anything like this to happen to her." My voice was now a little shaken and I was trying not to make a scene and cry.
"I don't blame you; it’s not your fault."
The doctor came out and said, "She can have only a few visitors right now." Rick and I walked in her room and seen her on her bed. She looked terrible and it made me feel more guilty than before. She opened her eyes, which it was more like squinting, then she looked over at us standing beside her. Rick held her hand and kisses her head and kept telling her everything will be fine. I just stood there having an out of body moment while I was watching them two.
His cell phone rang and he checked to see who was calling and sighed, "I have to answer this, I'll be back in a few minutes." He walked out and I was alone with her.
She turned and faced me and grinned, "How bad do I look?" she asked me.
"Well if you close one eye and tilt your head to the left you look just as adorable as before." We both let out a little giggle and then we had another moment where the air seemed to freeze and u could hear a strand of hair fall.
She closed her eyes slowly and then machines by her bed started to blink and make strange noises. Nurses came rushing into the room and pulled me outside. I heard one of them call out for a crash-card. Her heart stopped and she was dieing. They try to shock her to start her heart again but they were in there for 20 minutes. I had a feeling she wasn't going to come out of it. I sat up against the wall outside of the room and waited. The nurses came out and looked down at me with a gloomy look. I ran inside of the room and tears were rolling down my cheeks. I sat beside Maddie and I held her hand. I couldn't stop crying for a minute then I remembered what I was going to tell her. I laid down beside her and started to whisper in her ear "I love you, I'm so sorry I told you too late", I took a moment to breath, "I'm sorry this had to happen to you, I hope we will be together when it's all over." I kissed her cheek which was still warm. I got up and walked out of the room heading towards the door. I passed Rick but I couldn't look at him in the eye. I continued walking and I left.
Her funeral was a few days later, her family and friends were there. It was hard to be there with all of them and to face the fact she was gone for good. We said our goodbyes and the priest gave his speech; I left once he began. I planned to move out of the state after all that had happened. I needed to be far away for a while because everything I seen reminded me of her.
I moved to a bigger city and did as much as I could to stay busy. From time to time, I did think about her and the things we did. It's hard to forget your first love, even if you try. When looking back at the memories I had with her, the most painful ones to think about were not all the fights we had but all the times we laughed. I was thinking about visiting her grave on her birthday this year but I didn't and I never went there again.
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