my first day of hoggwarts

• Artist: ouronhighhostclubrocks
• Description: peoples comment and sorry it's not finished
• Date: 01/09/2010
• Tags: first hoggwarts harrypotter

it was my first day at hoggwarts. I was in the hallway just before we were to go to the dining area. I was 4 feet and 9 inches tall, dirty blond hair, green-hazel eyes,and t had freckels, I was 11 years old , my name is Elise. Perfesor magonagle hurried us in the dining area.We walk up to the front of the dinning area.There stood a stool and a hat .She got out a list of names i guessed,i was right then she called."Fred weasely" she yell and god did she have a pair of lungs for her age.Ss

Comments

[ouronhighhostclubrocks]

thanx livi

[Lacrime Sul Mio Cuscino]

Not bad but you need a little more experience.

[Little Milkflower]

Make your own ideas. This was good, but your own ideas makes it yours.

[thecreativequeenoverlord]

One, you spelled HOGWARTS wrong, and McGonnagall, too. Second, its very short. And third, there are plenty of grammar errors you need to fix.

[The Garden of Eatin]

You need to edit this more, you didn't capitalize Mogonagle. Good start.