• CHAPTER 146 - STILL VULNERABLE

    The tides can always change, but something continues to drown. Nothing changes.

    .:{{Arisa's Perspective}}:.

    The car ride back to the hotel was a long, silent one. I was still trying to pull myself together, though I would burst into intermittent silent sobs. I finally saw just how my parents died. And I assumed the aftermath was bad enough; I didn't think mom and dad could die in such a way--I didn't think anybody could die like that. Whether my eyes were opened or closed, the images Minoru put into my head were still forced on me while we were in the hut.

    I couldn't believe I fell for Minoru's trick of believing Kai committed the murder.

    As soon as we were parked at the hotel, I climbed out of the car and walked beside Kai in silence. I allowed a few stray tears to billow out because the rain could conceal them. I hated crying in front of Kai; I wanted to show him I was strong.

    We arrived at our room and opened the door to see that room service had visited and cleaned up the room. Unfortunately, Kai and I were dripping from head to toe from being out in the rain. After removing our shoes and socks, we stood in silence for another moment.

    "Go ahead and hop into the shower," Kai mumbled, touching my shoulder. "You're going to fall ill."

    It was too late; I could feel my stomach churning from nausea since those images forcibly ran through my mind. I obediently entered the bathroom and started undressing myself. After turning the hot water on, I wrapped myself in a towel and looked into the mirror. I peeled the bandages from my neck and tossed them into the garbage. A knot tied in my chest and, instead of dipping into the tub, I opened the bathroom door and stepped out. There stood Kai near the window, shirtless and dripping wet with the dim afternoon sun through the clouds shining off of his skin. He couldn't have appeared any more perfect.

    "I-I'm..." I stuttered, feeling the knot transfer from my chest to my throat. I flung myself at Kai and sobbed. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry I believed him!"

    Kai embraced me, burying his face in my hair, "Don't apologize; Vampires are superior at tricking others."

    "But still; I knew you would never do such a thing but I still believed him!"

    "Don't apologize," he whispered again, kissing the crown of my head. "Get into the shower; you'll become sicker if I hold you any longer."

    I locked my fingers behind his neck and kissed his clavicle, "I wish I could do everything with you," I whispered. "I wish I had the courage to remove this towel..."

    Kai breathed out a little chuckle, "Whenever you're ready, you silly girl,"

    I bit my lip and looked down at my feet. I had wished that many times before, but I still didn't feel ready enough. Instead of summoning up my courage, I gave Kai another kiss on the clavicle and left for the bathroom. I shut off the running water and slowly dipped myself into the steaming water. It felt too hot at first but I eventually adjusted to the water temperature and managed to halfway relax my tense muscles.

    "I'm so stupid," I mumbled and closed my eyes. "I fell for Minoru's trick."

    I soaked myself in the hot water and splashed around a little bit, trying to stir up the silence. I felt guilty for taking up all the hot water since Kai was dripping wet as well, but would he mind? I glanced over at my bandaged foot that was hanging out of the bathtub; my toes were a red-purple, swollen, and throbbing. I used my foot too much; I shouldn't have walked all the way to that hut.

    After another half hour, I grew bored of my bath and climbed out after draining the tub. I dressed myself in a nightgown and dried off my hair before brushing my teeth. The silence was still getting to me; it was causing me to be uncomfortable. Exiting the bathroom cautiously, I made my way over to the only bed in the hotel room and Kai was still standing at the window.

    "The shower is available if you want to take one," I advised timidly.

    Without another word, Kai glided past me and into the bathroom. Shortly after that, the shower started and I was alone once more. I lay myself down on the bed on my stomach and heaved out a heavy sigh. I was completely drained from the incident just a couple of hours ago. I didn't think such horrifying illusions could take so much out of you--it even almost took my trust of Kai away.

    After drifting off for a few minutes, I could feel a pressure against my back. I looked back over my shoulder and Kai was lying on my back, pressing his lips against the back side of my right shoulder blade. A chill slithered up my back and I buried my face in a pillow.

    "How are you feeling?" Kai asked me, kissing my shoulder blade again.

    "A little nauseous," I closed my eyes. "And my foot is throbbing."

    "Do you need blood?" Kai asked me while gripping my chin gently and turning my head towards him.

    I looked away, "I don't know if it will make me sicker or not,"

    "Normally, it's supposed to make you feel better," Kai smiled lightly. "Just try not to think about it."

    I turned onto my back, wincing at the throbbing pain in my foot. My head was throbbing as well from thinking too much; the stress was killing me. Kai bit into his wrist and started gathering blood in his mouth, trying not to drop any on me. He cupped my face, I squeezed my eyes shut, and he pressed his lips onto mine, opening my mouth with his tongue and the blood slowly made its way into my mouth. My attempt at distracting thoughts wasn't working; my nausea was acting up even more. But, while I was trying to distract myself, I could feel my foot starting to fall numb.

    Kai finally pulled away and wiped the blood off of my mouth. I swallowed the last bit and shuddered at the feeling of blood trickling down my throat. Kai chuckled lightly and played with a lock of my hair, "No good for your stomach?"

    I responded with a shake of my head, feeling nauseous. If I wasn't so sickened by blood, Kai could use his to rid me of my sicknesses so easily. Kai lowered himself a little bit to lay his body on mine and kiss my forehead. My arms wrapped around his neck and I peered into his eyes, "How would things have turned out...if you would have murdered my parents?"

    Kai's eyebrows furrowed together, surprised at my question, "What do you mean?"

    "If you'd have killed my parents as you were told to," I winced at the thought, "would you still be under this contract? Would we even have met?"

    Kai thought for a long moment before responding, "I don't suppose I'd be under the contract, since I'd have done what I was supposed to, and I don't suppose we would have been acquainted." he admitted. His face fell. "But I don't think things would have changed for you..."

    My face fell as well, "You're probably right; Hisao probably would have found somebody else to bound the contract under. Either that or hunt me down..."

    Kai kissed me quickly and buried his face in my neck, "Don't say that, please," he begged in a murmur.

    "I'm sorry," I apologized, kissing his ear and holding him tighter. "I shouldn't have asked."

    I really should have known better than to ask Kai such a question; he was under so much stress. He almost lost my trust, he had to stand by and watch me suffer just about two hours ago, his brother was lying in a bed, dying, and we just got rid of Ai with no possibility of seeing her again. As he was holding me, I could feel the texture of his bare torso with my own torso. Our bodies were so closely compressed; I was starting to feel cold. I ran my fingers through Kai's hair and tightened my legs around him as he kissed my neck repeatedly, holding me even closer.

    I groaned and leaned my head back to lie on the pillows. Kai pulled away from my neck and stared at me with slight concern, "What's wrong?"

    "My head is throbbing," I mumbled, pressing against my temples with my fingertips. "The images aren't stopping."

    Before Kai could respond, I flinched and winced as one gory image in particular flashed through my mind; it was Minoru penetrating my mom's torso. I was too exhausted and drained to scream anymore. Kai cupped his hands against my sweating face and I looked away while starting to gradually hyperventilate. As quickly as the image appeared, it disappeared from my vision. Kai was staring at me with worry and my breathing eventually calmed down.

    "You need sleep," Kai advised with worry. "You'll become sicker."

    "I can't stand it..." I buried my face in my hands. "I wish there was a way I could have stopped them from dying."

    Kai breathed out a halfhearted laugh, "There's no way you could take on more than one Vampire,"

    "I'd stab them," I mumbled.

    Kai laughed a little more and kissed my forehead, "That's my girl,"

    I tried to smile to show him I was okay, but it didn't last long at all. I released a sob and broke down, still horrified at what I had to see. Even though the murder happened two years ago, it still haunted me, almost on a daily basis. Now that I knew exactly how they died, it would haunt me even worse for longer. What an inhuman way to die, what an inhuman way to treat somebody. I'd have damned all Vampires to Hell, but I could never do that to Kai or Kira.

    Kai held me close to him and he buried his face in my neck again and I did the same to him. His strong, cold arms embraced me closely to his bare torso, sending chills through my body--I couldn't care less. I felt safe in his arms, like nothing in the world could harm me. If only I could stay in his arms forever; we'd be even happier.

    I could notice him holding me a different way, almost like he had one hand low enough to hold my hips closer to his. He would kiss my neck every several seconds and rub my back. I felt so calm with Kai; I was a mix of so many things with him at once. Though I would have loved to lie there with Kai in his arms all night, I was becoming exhausted. Kai must have read my mind because he rolled us over so we were on our sides, facing each other. He gave me one more kiss on my lips before I flipped over so he could hold me from behind as usual.

    "Promise me you won't go after them again," I whispered to Kai, thinking back to the last time he went after Minoru and Kaiba. Kai had gotten angry that they brought me to the mirror room and left me somewhat close to death. He had come home covered in blood again.

    Kai paused for a moment before answering me, kissing my left shoulder, "I promise. I'll stay right here."

    I wiped away one of my tears, "Good," my voice cracked.

    Kai held me a little closer, "You've ventured through so much; I'm astonished you're so stable."

    "Stable?" I laughed halfheartedly. "I'm pathetic."

    "You've managed to survive through your sister's unpreventable death and your parents' murders," Kai whispered. "And you've been through so much in the means of Vampires and Werewolves. You've even held strong after killing Mayura. You've held strong after you've seen my instinctive Vampire side. You've especially held strong during the time we were separated."

    I paused for a moment and changed the subject, "If you notice me having bad dreams, wake me, please,"

    Kai nodded, "I can do that," he kissed the back of my head. "Je t'aime."

    I shut my eyes and winced at my nauseous stomach, "I love you too,"

    Hopefully I'd sleep well...didn't seem likely.