• “I hate myself…”
    “Why?”
    The voice startles me. Looking around I see that no one’s around me, like normally. ‘Who was that?’
    “I’m someone you used to… know.” The voice comes again.
    ‘Had I said that out loud?’
    “Yeah you did say that out loud.” The voice comes. This time it’s voice gives me the shivers. I know that voice… But it hasn’t spoken to me for a long while since…. never mind.
    “You haven’t answered my question.” The voice sounds worried. “Why do you hate yourself?”
    I frown at this. Questions…why did they have to come the most when I’m like this. My friends do it all the time. ‘Best friends can see the hurt in your eyes, when everyone else is fooled by your smile.’ I always told myself when my true friends distract me from looking at the wounds that I made myself. I know they care for me but…I can’t help it…
    “Are you listening to me?” The voice snaps at me. Raising my head to look at nothing but a dark cloud.
    “Yeah…” I sigh.
    “Well then, answer me.”
    “I hate the way I have so much time to think. My thoughts always get worse. Worries, loneliness, hate…love, and then it would go to the past. My memories haunt me. I hate it. I hate the way it would go to the memories that used to make me smile for real. It makes me realize that I don’t hate…it…and that I miss those feelings that I used to feel. Those feelings…now are so far away, it’s like I never will feel them again. It always had made me feel whole. Like I had found that someone…darn.” My eyes fill with salty tears. Shaking my head I keep on going. “Maybe it’s just the winter…” I murmur more to myself than to the voice.
    “I don’t think it’s the winter…” I ignore the voice and let a tear slide down my cheek. “Now don’t cry.” It comes again.
    I shake my head robustly when I feel a cold hand brush my shoulder. More tears fall down my cheeks. A thumb brushes the tears away. Shutting my eyes from my lonely world, I turn away from the contact. Bringing my knees to my chin I dip my face down and hug my knees into a flimsy position.
    “Get your face up now.” It commands me.
    “Shut up!” My voice muffles, sounding broken than what I had wanted to.
    “Don’t talk to me that way. Now look up.”
    “I don’t wanna!”
    “Dang stubborn kid- Get up!”
    “I’m older than you- just shut the heck up!”
    “Well, geeze, I thought you were more mature than me- yeah right!” I growl at the voice. Getting annoyed by the meaningless tantrum I raise my head.
    There, in a far corner- light- bright and white. Beyond it I could see beautiful colors dancing, like it was waiting for me.
    Maybe…just maybe I could try again…