• Water, That's all he saw. Actually, he felt it more than he saw it. Eyes slammed shut, he felt more than he saw. The coldness of the water. The currents. The sound of it even. He didn't even try to find air. He was content with drowning. His freedom from this life of pain and regrett. He thought of the pain and struggeling he had faced before he started dying. Things he could have changed. Things he would have done differently. But thinking about it didn't help him any. It only made him feel worste. He thought of his best friend. That guy did alot of things for him. Good and bad. But that was not what made him sad. He was sad because he was the reason for drowning himself. The only person he really ever trully wanted to be with... The frustration with his religion came back. Sinful for man with man. He knew that rule, but that didn't take away the loinging to be with his friend. To rest on him, hold his hand, even to the extent of kissing him. Heck, there were times when he was in his friends car with him while thinking about kissing him. Rubbing his chest. Holding his hand. But something always held him back. His religion? No, when it came to his friend he didn't care about religion. Maybe he loved him so much that he didn't want to bring him into the sinful lifestyle. No, not even that. He remembered. It was because his friend was straight. There wasn't an ounce of gay feelings inside him. He got jealous sometimes because his friend followed that one stupid girl than him. He would sometimes cry himself to sleep at night because he knew they would never be together. But that didn't change him dying. He started slipping in and out of consciousness. His heart started slowing. He was dying. The last thought that went into his head, was his best friend.. holding him in his arms... the last time he would ever see him... Again...