• Ddorn (Thorn): Age 16: Monarch of Sorts

    All around me, people were pressing to get a good look. They looked up to me, and why shouldn't they? After all, it was me.
    After a while, it became clear that something wasn't right. I examined the crowd. 172 people. There was one person missing.
    I looked around. There.
    The boy over there wasn't paying the least bit of attention to me, insolent brat. I confronted him.
    He just stared at the ground, even as I said hello.
    I rested my hand on his head. "Look at me."
    He didn't move. I slid my fist over his skull. "Now."
    He looked up slowly, reluctantly.
    I stared at him. "Why you standing here, all alone, of all places?"
    He didn't reply. There was a silence as the crowd shuffled over and surrounded the two of us. I folded my arms and glared at him, awaiting his answer.
    "I guess I wasn't in the mood to have to see you again."
    I bared my teeth. "Is that an insult?"
    He began to walk away.
    I grabbed his shoulder and whirled him around, my frame tense. "Look, punk. I'm not going to take something like that from you. You just watch."
    He just stared at me tiredly and continued to leave.
    This time, I let him go. Revenge will be mine.

    Revenge. It's a funny thing. Sometimes, people are saying, 'Revenge is sweet'. The next, their saying, 'Revenge will never get you anywhere'. Makes you wonder.
    So many ways destiny could go. People say that if you have faith, He will make sure your destiny travels a positive path. Lies. All lies. All of them.
    I'm an admired, cool and the like, adored person. Everyone knows the name, 'Ddorn'. When my name is spoken aloud, everyone thinks of that kid. The kid with the colored hair and the smooth remarks and that way of always managing to make a good comeback. That's me. That's the biggest thing, the comebacks. 'Cause at my level, comebacks are everything. It's all about overshooting the other man, right? All about sassing them. Comebacks. I'm the master at comebacks. That's what makes me great.
    But all this greatness, all this awesomness, faith didn't play a part. I had to work on it myself. I had to build it up, stone by stone. This destiny... He ain't got nothing to do with it. But no one cares. No one cares how you get something done, it's about the goal, not the going. Ignore what other people say. As long as you get where you want in the end, nothing out there can stop you.
    As long as you end up a well-off man with a well-off life, what matters? Maintain your power and nothing can knock you down. Part of it is self-esteem. If you've got low self-esteem, say goodbye to any thoughts of fame and true power. And I've got self-esteem to parry with. I'm not arrogant, persay, just a little overly confident in everything I do. I'm not one to admit to mistakes. Because I never make them, anyway.
    All those kids who performed suicide... they had low self-esteem. And what can I do about it? They're not me, I'm not them. I can't go up to them and wring their necks, telling them to just suck it up and live their accursed lives. I have no right to do that. Every man for themselves, right? There's no point in helping others. Live for yourself. Don't waste your time on other people. You have a life, too, right? If other people keep getting in your way, don't hold back. Push them aside and shoot for your own stardom.
    Look at me. I'm all big and famous, to a point. I'm not a celebrity, but I could be. I never wasted my time on other people. If I were running track, and someone beside me tripped, good riddance. That's one less person to compete with. I'm not going to stop by their side and help them up. Lord, no.
    If I were doing homework, and someone needed help, too bad. I'm not going to let my own priorities rot in order to let someone else get the better grade.
    This is about me.
    And I'm not trying to influence you or get you to act like I do. No, if you did that, I'd lose my spot on top.
    So, if you someone else is blocking the door to your future, just continue full speed ahead. Run them over and barrel through that door. What else are you going to do, wait for them to step aside? Like that'll ever happen. People are selfish beings. They'll just stand there and sneer in your face, because they'll think they can control your future. Well, they can't. It's your job and your job only to fling open the right door and enter your ideal life.
    So take your chance. Severe unnecessary relationships that will do nothing by hold you down.
    It's a free country, right?


    Wrong.
    Freedom is not being held back, not being chained to the groun by others' will. Freedom is being able to reach for the sky.
    No one is free.
    But I will change that.
    I will soar up and touch the stars.
    I will relieve myself from the burden of other peoples' power.

    I will be free.

    And you can't stop me.

    (To be continued in Chapter Three, Gjumë Pagjumë : Cross)