• It makes me smile. It makes me laugh. It makes me sick. It makes me wonder. It makes me nostalgic. It makes me smirk. It pisses me off. It makes me miss what I had.

    Middle school. God, I miss that place. Not the school. Johnson Middle School must translate to "Hell" in some other language. I miss the people. The experiences. I miss knowing that I was untouchable. I miss knowing that life would always be perfect. I miss knowing that nothing could ever go wrong because I was just a young adolescent boy. I miss being able to do almost anything without any intense consequence. I miss it...

    Now... Geez. High school. Sophomore year. It's like I forgot everything. It's like I've gone from god to beggar. It's like my whole life dissipated like a melting glacier. Melted like snow at the first touch of spring's hand. It's gone. To think, I used to live everyday for a group of friends a couple of select classes, and coming home and listening to the radio, even though I was grounded. Back then, I thought I was in love with a woman I barely knew at the time. Back then, I met my first love. Now, she's with my brother, and has become my best friend and my sister. I miss walking into chorus, and the smell of resin and velvet from the preceeding orchestra class filled my nose. The sound of my friends laughing and messing around made me smile and laugh myself. I miss walkign into the locker room for Phys Ed and hearing "Hey, you got any Axe?". I miss walking in there and actually fearing that I would suffocate because some idiot forgot to wash his clothes and sprayed so much Axe on his shirt, the whole effing locker room was hazed by the mist he left behind. I miss all the chorus concerts. Singing and dancing like an idiot on stage. And those days at lunch when my friends and I pounded the hell out of eachother's knuckles with a quarter until they bled, just to see who was tougher. Sitting by the soda machines and just talking to my friends about how awesome it would be when we were older. Talking about all the places we'd go, and how we couldn't wait to get our licenses so we could all drive to California and become singers or actors together. Or going into keyboarding and raising cane. The day my friends and I alomst got suspended because the keyboarding teacher thought it was us that threw Goldfish crackers across the room. It was, but he wasn't supposed to know. Back when I greased my hair and was obsessed with Johnny Cash...

    But now...


    The thought of joining the Choir is less appealing than a naked Monica Lewinski. Pounding on eachother until we bleed makes about as much sense as cutting off my testacles with a razorblade. The woman I "loved" and barely knew... She's not even a part of my life anymore. I hate the very thought of that school. I ahte it all. Now, I feel bad for throwing Goldfish crackers all over the keyboarding room. I feel bad for all those kids I picked on. I don't want to sing or act. I want to be a Marine.

    But, I'll say this: I miss everything that happened there. I miss what I had. My friends that I thought I'd have forever. And all the songs that were popular back then. I still listen to them.

    "The Great Escape"
    "Sweet Escape"
    "Buy You A Drank"
    "Over My Head"
    "How To Save A Life"
    "Face Down"
    "Here In Your Arms"
    "Pop, Lock, And Drop It"
    "It's Not Over"
    "Beautiful Girls"
    "Umbrella"
    "Lovestoned"
    "Hey There Delilah"
    "Thanks For The Memories"
    "Fergalicous"
    "This Is Why I'm Hot"
    "Get It Shawtii"



    I wish I could go back for one more day... No... Go back and stay for the rest of my life. Go back to where I was untouchable. Back to when Life made sense. Go back to when I knew everything...



    If only for a day...