• Milling about the house and waiting for you to come back. A text message registers – the first in weeks. Everything stopped as I realized that you were writing from the road. I never got the chance to say goodbye and you’re gone. In all likelihood, I won’t see you again for years. The seconds ground to a halt and so I began a journey back in time, where we used to be.

    Three years ago:

    Three years ago doesn’t seem that long, but our friendship miraculously springs from there. You had wonderful stories and fantastic ways of telling them. You were unusual and exciting. A blond streak in your hair, fierce fists, and moxie to boot. You were everything I’d ever wanted to be.

    In an incredibly short time, we were thick as thieves. You released me and let me do all the things I’d been wanting to try for so long. We smoked, we snuck out, we rode in cars with boys. You went full force into the friendship and I hurtled headlong after you. We told each other things we wouldn’t even dare to write down in a private journal.
    Parties were always at your house and you led the former Marauders. You thought of what to do. You were the glue that helped keep us together even when we weren’t on speaking terms with each other. We were twin sisters and your house was where I stayed when I had no place else to go.

    One year ago:

    One year ago, you changed. We weren’t close. You had other preoccupations. You had adjusted your life and your attitude to be with the man you love. I wasn’t sure I liked it and it broke my heart. I wanted to badly to be your friend I said nothing about it. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that he was turning you into someone I didn’t recognize.

    Six months ago:

    Six months ago, you were a totally different person. When you learned you were moving, you cried. I didn’t. I was heartbroken because I had already lost the You I knew. You were someone I didn’t recognize. I wasn’t always invited when you went. You had new friends. You had a new attitude. I felt like someone had gone and switched our friendship off one night. I told the teacher I didn’t care if you moved to Timbuktu because you were just someone with the same name and the same face. You weren’t the one I loved most dearly.

    One month ago:

    As the days began to count down to your departure, I began to see you again. And not just your face, but the real You shone through. What resurfaced was the beautiful girl I had used to idolize and it broke my heart again because now You really were leaving. You came to see me graduate, and I was happier to see you than anyone else I saw. You cried and said you were proud and it meant alot more than anyone would think. You're worlds more mature than me and I look up to you the same as I do to Mr. G. You were the one I loved once more.

    One week ago:

    One week ago, the seconds held still, dangling in midair like shards of sparkling glass. The memories were playing in my mind, still vivid and bright as they were on the day we made them. I felt a stabbing pain in my heart as my phone began to buzz again and time started. I took a shuddering breath and, since I was alone, I began to cry. It’s harder to cry alone, but you were my partner in crying, too. How can I go it without you? I was never so talented as you.

    Today:

    Today I’ve decided to write you a letter like old times. I can’t send it in Mr. S’s homework dropbox, but I have a book of stamps, a giant envelope, and gel pens and now I have all the time I need to tell you goodbye as best I can.

    Dunn cray, Symmiekins.
    And remember that I promised to always be there, even if you really don't want me to be.

    Love,
    Sooba