Thea picked up the razor on her black bed side table. She stop to interrogate the blade. It was shinny and sharp. The light bounced off it, reflecting in her deep blue eyes. She thought of it as her life source. Other then her unusually perfect boyfriend.
She lay on her black blanket, topping her twin bed. Her wrist was imprinted from the gloves she usually wore to cover the deep frightening scars, that covered her wrist to elbow.
Thea had only arrived home only 4 minutes ago, but long enough ago to pull all sanity from her and violently murder it. Enough time to blow off her concerned mother, and drunk father, run to her room, slam the door, and undress down to her black lacy bra and bikini black underwear.
She stared at the blade and back to her skin for what seemed hours. Only 5 minutes passed. She glanced up at the door.
“s**t!” the door was still unlocked. Bouncing off the bed she almost made it to the door before her mother intruded carrying a basket off laundry.
“ Oh! My God!” Thea’s mom yelled. Thea slyly slid her scarred arms behind her back before her mother could see the scars.
“ Get out!” Thea screamed at the woman called her mom standing in the door gaping at her lace wearing daughter.
“ Where the hell did you get those? I dint buy u black lacy underwear!”
“Non of your business!” Thea with out exposing arms grabbed her shirt off the floor and slid it on.
“ Yes it is my businesses your MY daughter!”
“Can you prove that?” Thea laughed trying to appear unaffected my her mother tone.
Thea’s mom went on accusing her of being a slut. Thea tried closing the door on her mom.
“You young lady are not aloud to talk to me like that. Was it your stupid little emo boyfriend?”
“Did he buy you the slut suit” Mrs.Nightengale glared looking at her daughter from head to foot.
“ONE, matt isn't emo! and TWO I can wear what ever I like its my body. God, mom you so ******** judgmental” Thea emphasized her words.
“Thats it, get out.” her mom tried to keep her voice low and dangerous.
“What..” Now Thea was confused. Her mom had never kicked her out before. Yea, she had grounded her and what not, but never kicked her out.
“You will not stay in my house and insult me for giving birth to, and raising you. Your ungrateful and i will not be treated like this by my daughter.”
“ FINE. I will leave.” Thea held steady holding back the flowing rage. Trying to keep the appearance of old and mature.
“ Good.” Mrs.Nightengale dumped the basket of laundry on the floor.
Thea grabbed the clothes up off the floor onto her bed. Wondering around the room Thea found all necessary things she would need. Her flashlight, a wad of money from working at Starbucks ,and small bag of clothing. Glancing with remorse at her collection of books she grabbed her razors and shoved them in her purse. All but one.
Thea was exasperated, stunned.
Knowing only one thing could help. One glorious thing. The feel of the blade. The spurts of blood. The pain.
With the razor in one hand she pressed it against her wrist. She thought of what made her family so damn screwed up. She made 4 little scratches before sliding down the door and settling on the carpeted floor, shifting to find a comfortable position.
This time she made 4 same cuts deeper. Blood slipping from between the skin. The memories of her dreams of her sister came rushing back into her mind. Attacking her every defense.
Pissed off that the stupid little girl ruined her family she slid the blade over her vein and cut deep into her skin. Alexis wasn't even here and had made her dad a drunk and her mom over protective.
Her eye sight started to waver in and out.
The dreams of Alexis every time Thea had gone to sleep is what brought her to the blade.
Blood ran over her legs, gushing out of her arm. Ever since Alexis, Thea’s sister, had been taken, Thea had dreamt of Alexis being alive. Stupid un-real things like that.
Tears trickled out of her eyes that she had squeezed shut. Yet Alexis’s appearances in her dreams drove Thea insane. She often thought maybe the dreams were real sent from her sister. They portrayed a place or as well as they could. Sometimes she thought she could hear her sisters thoughts.
Thea loved this feeling of the blade. The sight of blood gave her a ever lasting thrill. She lifted the blade again to her other wrist. With one movement she had cut deeper in to her vein. Almost wanting to laugh, except death, inviting the pain she sat alone covered in blood. She was memorized by the feeling of the tip of blade. How this made her relaxed. She lost the feeling.
No No this wasn't right she thought. She needed this feeling. It was the only way! She became panicked slicing threw her legs and arms over and over. Thea couldn't feel anything. not even a pinch. She lost the taste of iron in her mouth. She lost her hearing of the footsteps running down the hall . It all went black as she forced her self into a coma.
- Title: What makes anything real?
- Artist: xxNightmare_in_the_darkxx
Thea was a suicidal girl living in a world where nothing made sense to her.
- I am a new writer. Well I stopped writing for a long time and just started again. So please judge if you must. -
- Date: 06/01/2010
- Tags: makes anything real