Set fire to my tears

• Artist: Mother Ayame
• Description: This was a poem I wrote to my baby girls daddy when we got in a fight a long time ago. As you should see.. I won the argument >=D... The reason I phrased it that way is because he died not too long ago. He died because his cancer spread too fast, and last we knew it wasn't very bad. NO SYMPATHY VOTES!!! I want honest feedback! I don't want sympathy.. and I don't like it!
• Date: 07/16/2008
• Tags:

Set fire to my tears!
I was there, and I could hear!
What was said, is now done.
We were together, but now your gone.
I’ve been casted into darkness.
I’m envoloped in my sadness.
Not one, not even two!
but a hundred times I’ve thought of you.
I miss your voice, and that smile.
I havn’t seen you in a while.
When you left, I was glad.
But now, it makes me sad.
I’ll wait the day,
that you might say.
You were wrong,
and it’s been too long.

Comments

[sangrla]

This is nice, much enjoyed. ^-^ i dont love the exclamation marks in this one. Maybe could be pulled off with one?? Liked it lots though. And so sorry fer your lose. 4/5

[evil_dr_monkmonk]

SO this one is somewhat connected to the sad truth. `this was very good, deep. Love how you said you would wait even though before you wanted him gone. And as for you. My deepest condolences. Hope you life goes well

[I Go Rawr Betch]

I love how in the beginning that you drag the readers in the poem with the excalamatory sentence. It is quite deep but for some reason I'm slightly confused. Who is the one speaking or thinking for that matter? I think its you, but I'm not so sure. :/ 5/5

[Cerberus2350]

yo whats good... my condolences for you... i know what it is like to loose someone... now as for the poem. its very well written. me i love deep poetry like this, mostly because it is easy for me to relate to. well good luck in the contest... 4/5