Once in a Life Time

• Artist: LinkSwords
• Description: A poem by Me, and It took me 1 hour for the lyrics and and the stanzas. i made this in 5th grade, and kept it all my life (4years)
  
  This Poem represents Once In a life time Opportunity's
  
  "sorry for the spelling errors"
• Date: 07/18/2008
• Tags:

Once in a lifetime.
Seems like forever.
Glistening in the time.
It seems ever.

Once in a lifetime.
Seems quick.
1/100 chanch,
of getting picked.

Once in a lifetime.
Tornados pass by.
It seems forever
you get to fly.

Once in a lifetime.
It seems long.
100 years pass.
Lets hit the kong.

Once in a lifetime.
Dark beats light.
Other then that.
No one fights.

If the fights stop.
Light beats dark.
Then lets mop.
As you sail the ark!

Comments

[I Like to Eat Faces]

Well, for writing it in the fifth grade, its pretty good, but certain lines don't make sense, ex. "It seems ever". I would also revise "Seems quick" into "Seems so quick". You should also avoid using numbers in poetry and "chanch" is spelled chance. "It seems long" would be better written as "It seems so long". I would also change "hit" to "strike". The last two stanzas are kind of confusing. All in all, the poem has a good structure and is very good for you having written it in fifth grade.

[LinkSwords]

Please don't curse on my work or ill delete the post
Thank you for your consideration

[LinkSwords]

The message's of the stanzas is Once in a lifetime opportunity's.

Each stanza, Represents a Once (or twice) Opportunity, and I will fix my spelling errors.

[iEpic-Face]

Let me be a nicer person. You had a few spelling errors. But the poem itself is something that I can't get. The theme or the lesson taught. The poem itself is not very clear.

[kos-mos08]

ok