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When I think of happiness,
My mind fills with images of
Beaches and sunsets, fireworks.
Running to rolling waves only to pull back,
Suddenly, as they approach in an attempt
to escape the water's chill.
I could hop myself up on Zoloft and rum, but,
Something tells me I'd be a weepy drunk.
I'd cry about my fears of sea salt and sea fish and sea
water and sea sand and sea wind,
My fears of commitment and loneliness.
While you talk of my godliness and my beauty,
My intelligence and my talent;
Your words like a river: in one ear and out the other,
until, finally,
My whining forces you to push me over the pier's side
And feed me to the ocean's sharks.
- by Phoenix OrDinni |
- Poetry And Lyrics
- | Submitted on 09/26/2008 |
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- Title: Irony
- Artist: Phoenix OrDinni
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Description:
This is a little thing I wrote. It's only a first draft and I am in need of your help, literary-gifted Gaians.
Aid me in my poetry writing.
EDITED. - Date: 09/26/2008
- Tags: irony
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Comments (2 Comments)
- Phoenix OrDinni - 09/26/2008
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Ahaha. Thank you, Summer.
I'll take it to mind in my DRAFT.
*A crowd gasps. A girl with scars up and down her arms and black hair in her eyes screams and faints.* - Report As Spam
- Summer Fallwinterspring - 09/26/2008
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I shall aid you!
I like the line about "weepy drunk." The bit about sea sharks, though- s'a bit redundant. I mean, SEA shark? No s**t. I really like the imagery you came up with, and the fact that it's ******** ORIGINAL.
Erm . . . sorry . . . I've been doing that a lot. AnyHOO, the part up until "The image disappears" doesn't seem to quite FIT with the rest of the piece about the woman.
I feel . . . clean . . . going over real poetry . . . - Report As Spam