Emily - A Poem

• Artist: HaIIows
• Description: There are no words to describe this.
• Date: 09/27/2008
• Tags: emily poem

Did I tell you?
About the time...
When I lay awake,
Well past nine?

My mouth was open,
But no sound it made...
As I lay there,
Scared and afraid.

And when my tears began to fall
Pouring down,
And drowning all...
I thought of her.

And the memories are all too real.
They make me remember...
They make me feel.

And always she is in my head.
I want her gone...
I want her dead.

I need her to hear my plea.
To cease this torture,
And leave me be.

I cannot live like this for long,
My will is weak
And isn't strong.


So a riddle I shall leave for thee...
Dare ye enter...
And save me?

From this fate I have in mind...
Of coloured ribbons,
String and twine...

And as the leaves begin to fall...
Becoming scarce...
Till none at all...

I shall hang there.
Motionless and limp,
Without a care.

My feet dangling
In the air...
I'll be dead.

Comments

[HaIIows]

i'm not editing it
i wrote it by what i felt at the time
and no it wouldn't be a better rhyme >.>

[NakedJack]

One complaint, not long enough to convince the hanging was necessary. Good ending, just needs to be set up better. Ah! Proper literary terms escape me. Your narrator needs to have her tragedy developed more. Seems like a bathos right now. If you do edit, I would like to reread it. It's not unenjoyable now, but I think it would be a great piece with the extra effort.
Oh and 'My will is weak, like a fading song' Would be a better rhyme, in my opinion.

[HaIIows]

O.o
i don't know what you're talking about but, ok

[mysticrydder]

that is creepy! i dont torture people until they hang themselves! yes my real name is emily. and i think that adds to the creepiness. its like saying "this is for you damien!" my god that such a good movie...

[Caleco]

this is really nice