• luaghter and teasing
    amuse me
    they tickle my insides
    with butterflies of adrenaline
    as I splash and play

    then everything
    stops, blurrs
    slowly
    I fall slowly
    I feel numb, then
    in an instant
    of the smallest increments
    It strikes me

    The pain is so full
    unforgiving
    but bearable
    too bearable
    enjoyment, even
    yes, undeniably so

    I feel guilt
    then I cover it with a tear.