Escape

• Artist: Victor_Creed
• Description: A sad poem written a few years ago by myself.
• Date: 12/23/2008
• Tags: escape

Escape

You see him creeping by the Church
He's been alone for a year
Sorrow robbed him of his senses
He sleeps every night by her stone

By the bells there sleeps a stone
Which I alone can read
On the fence the red
Which at the time had been your Heart

Fear speared on that fence
I dig down every night
To see what remains
From the face that smiled for me

By the bells I spend the night
There amongst the snails, a lonely beast
During the day I run after the night
You escape me for a second time

With my hands I dig deep
To find what I miss so much
When the moon is out
I kiss your cold lips

I embrace you
But your skin rips like paper
And parts fall down from you
You escape me for the second time

By the bells I spend the night
There amongst the snails, a lonely beast
During the day I run after the night
You escape me for a second time

Comments

[carosene]

Cool! Very creepy in a definitely good way, your repetition is fantastic and enhance the feeling of being trapped in this poem. My only criticism is your opening stanza: It seems a bit random, the swapping of the narrators and stuff. While it sets the setting, I think it'd be better if you had the man narrate this stanza too.

[Mutandanstan]

that is a nice poem^^I like the stanzas and how it flows, good job.