• Stepehn Colber & Jon Stewart
    Hanukkah


    * = Music Notes
    " = Quoteing

    Jon - * Can I interest you ... in Hanukkah? Maybe something in a festival of lights? It's a sensible alternative to Christmas ... and it last for 7--*
    For you?
    *8, nights ... *


    Stephen - Hanukkah, huh? I've never really thought about it


    Jon - Well, you could do worse ...


    Stephen - ... *Is it Merry?*


    Jon - ... It's kind of Merry


    Stephen - *Is it Cheery?*


    Jon - ... It's got some cheer


    Stephen - *Is it Jolly?*


    Jon - *Look, I wouldn't know from Jolly ... But it's not my least-unfavourite time of year*


    Stephen - When's it start??


    Jon - On the 25th!


    Stephen - Of December?!


    Jon - ... Keislef


    Stephen - *Which is when exactly?*


    Jon - ... I will check


    Stephen - *Are there presents?*


    Jon - *Yes, indeed 8 days of presents ... which means 1 nice one, then a week of Dreck*


    Stephen - *Does Hanukkah commemorate, events profound and holy? A king who came to save the world ... ?*


    Jon - * No ... Oil that burned quite, slowly ... *


    Stephen - Well it sounds fantastic!


    Jon - haha, -- there's more!

    *... We have latkas*


    Stephen - What are they?!


    Jon - *Potatoe Pancakes ... we have Dreidles*


    Stephen - What are they?!


    Jon - *Wooden Tops ... We have candles*


    Stephen - What are they?!


    Jon - THEY ARE CANDLES! *And when we light them; oh the fun, it never stops ... *

    What do you say, Stephen? Do you wanna give Hanukkah a try?!


    Stephen - *I'm trying to see me as a Jew ... I'm trying even harder. But I believe in Jesus Christ, so it's a real non-starter!*


    Jon - * I can't interest you ... in Hanukkah? ... Just a little bit??*


    Stephen - *No thanks, I'll pass. I'll keep Jesus, you keep your potatoe pancakes. But I hope that you enjoy them; on behalf of all the "goiyum"*


    Jon - *Be sure to tell the Pontif, my people say, "Good Yontif"*


    Stephen - *That's exactly, what I'll do*


    Stephen & Jon - * Happy Holidays ... You

    Jon - *Too*
    Stephen - *Jew*


    That's the ending of Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart's Hanukkah song!

    *Btw, at the end when I showed "Too" and "Jew" as seperate, it may be confuseing to understand, but they're basically singing together, and while Jon is saying "Too", Stephen is saying "Jew".