The Dream

• Artist: 1up Cloud
• Description: Eh, I've been doing these for quite a while, so *don't listen to me when I say this* most of my things that I write are just off the top of my head, but some how always end up being related in what I'm trying to do. =P please rate and comment. =) I like feedback ever so much.
• Date: 01/07/2009
• Tags: dream

I look up in the skies,
and see that dream again, right before my eyes..
Do you see it too?
The dream where I run off with you..

My dream is different, and it scares me so,
it's where you leave.. to a place I cannot go.
I look you in the eye
and you tell me goodbye.

I turn to darkness, because of my hate and pain
Now all that's ever in my world, are clouds and rain.

I've been consumed, and now no one, not even you can save me..
You come, and I turn away, remembering nothing..the way it used to be.

I open my eyes, and you shed a tear,
I tell you it's okay, because I'll always be near.

We continue to walk, and I like it that way,
and hopefully we'll get married..one day.
Then I look up in the skies,
and see that dream again.. right before my eyes......

Comments

[ThievingNihilism]

Well then, considering you like feedback "ever so much" and i like your poem "ever so much" I'd like to say it's quite lovely, i love it when writers manage to turn a piece into a cycle, because for some reason that's what it feels like at the end, and, pertaining to your description, in that case, you've got some real talent [5 stars & kudos]

[Crimson Scarlethe]

wow. this is something. really something. i heart it...! smile it's obviously made from the heart.... keep it up... smile

[luvmydog]

i enjoyed reading this poem its really good keep writing more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Rutoh-Chan]

I've always enjoyed rhythmic non-rhyming poetry and I love the flow of yours. Off the top of the head poetry is also some of my favorite, it feels more real. I enjoyed the ending. Good work.