Untitled

• Artist: ADSOC
• Description:
• Date: 01/22/2009
• Tags: untitled

Red and oh so sweet
Thorns pricking the hands
It would meet
Blood running down the palm
Red and oh so sweet

*thanks for comments and rates! please let me know how i could make this poem better*

Comments

[filipinoinlove123]

very short
has a lot of feeling into it
awesome
5/5

[Kibroth]

Short and...sweet!

Suggestions- In line 3, enchanging "it" for "they" (unless you had an express purpose for that word choice).
In line 4 replacing "the palm" with "palms". Otherwise, it would greatly depend on your purpose/aim of the poem. I mean, I could probably think of more lines if I so desired...

I think it would be a great chapter preface quote for a pulp/vampire/horror novel though! 4/5

-K