• before i pulled that trigger
    i remember seeing him
    hugging me tight
    holding me close saying
    "i never wanna let you go"
    i was so happy

    a week later
    we were watching a movie
    i was so scared
    but he held me close
    assuring it was ok
    i was so happy

    its been a month now
    it was late
    but so romantic...
    leaning against him
    him smiling at me
    his fingers running through my hair
    our first kiss.....
    i was so happy

    three months now
    we were still "huggy"
    holding hands down the hall
    and maybe a kiss or two
    parents always yelling
    "you are running up the phone bill!"
    i was still so happy

    six months
    i was looking around
    trying to find him
    the place was empty
    only one couple
    just to find out it was him
    i was so confused

    a week later after the incident
    i saw them hugging
    i thought
    "oh it must be an old friend"
    until i saw them kiss
    i was so angry

    later that night
    i called him to say
    "wat is wrong with you
    did i miss something?"
    he never answered
    i called him again 20 times
    to no avail
    i was so depressed

    week later
    it seems like hes avoiding me
    thinking
    " i need to talk to him"
    but he would duck away
    i tried following
    but he disappeared
    i was more depressed

    he made me feel so lonely
    i felt the agony
    it was terrible
    pining away without anyone there
    and my parents didnt care
    they said its a faze
    it'll go away

    now back right now
    i hung up the phone
    saying goodbye
    but i stopped
    right before the trigger was pulled
    i was so happy
    i felt a tear fall down my cheek
    i wasnt too strong to cry