• God I apologize,
    That I,
    Didn’t praise your name,
    Because of how I felt,
    The hurt and the pain,
    It’s a shame,
    That I,
    Can’t say Hallelujah,
    To your name,
    Because so many people use your name in vain,
    To the point that serving you is a strain,
    On my brain,
    Sometimes I think church is a joke,
    As the preacher talks about the hoe,
    That sits on the front row,
    But he himself is on the down low,
    Lord I just don’t know,
    How I can learn to love you,
    When church has become such a freaking fashion show,
    As some look surprise
    And ask me why
    I don’t come to church to look fly,
    Or why I,
    Don’t come to church to look cute,
    So I can get a man,
    Or a guy friend,
    Or why I,
    Don’t join a clique,
    And use my mouth as a verbal instrument,
    To bring others down,
    So I can feel like a queen,
    And wear a crown,
    When I’m really being a clown,
    Showin my natural black moon,
    Rocking a straight attitude,
    Because I’m hurt
    And I don’t want anyone to find out,
    About how daddy rapping me,
    How momma lost faith in me,
    How I like for girls to touch me,
    When all I really want is for someone to love me,
    God I apologize

    God I apologize
    For my unnatural affections
    I messed up so many things,
    That was considered my blessin,
    God I did it all for the attention they gave me,
    It was my own lust that blinded me,
    Your word says that the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak,
    And I admit that I was the first to creep,
    Pretend like I’m sleep,
    Then jump out the window,
    To go see who I had to go see,
    Then jump back in the window,
    When my mission was complete,
    Because it was something that was in me,
    And God I apologize

    God I apologize for the lies,
    But some people sittin round here tryin to criticize,
    When your word says I can only worship you in spirit and in truth,
    And yes God in trying to apologize to you,
    Because I know I am not the only one, who has told a lie,
    Some people need to get the beam out their own eye
    Sittin up here trying to look fly,
    Somebody is creeping with someone’s wife,
    And the lady is sleeping with someone else husband tonight,
    Sometimes I just want to cry,
    But before let me apologize,

    God I apologize
    For feelin,
    Angry,
    Confused,
    Misused,
    God I suffered at the hands of abuse,
    Till all I can see is his hand fused,
    In my brain,
    It feels like I’m going insane,
    Lord I feel so a shame,
    God I don’t know if I can deal with this much pain,
    They say your name is Jehovah,
    But who are you to me,
    I know some that call you daddy,
    But that last dad I had hurt me,
    To the point that I shiver,
    When a brother hugs me,
    I reject anyone who tries to love me,
    Because love is an imaginary word to me,
    I don’t know what it means,
    When someone says they love me,
    God you say you love me,
    But I don’t know how to love you back as matter of fact,
    I treat you so wack,
    Yet you let me come back,
    Time and time again,
    God I don’t know how to be your friend,
    Yet you still hold my hand,
    When I think I’ve lost,
    You say I can win,
    You are the best encourager,
    In the end,
    God I am not a good friend,
    And God I apologize,

    God I apologize for watching porno,
    I watch ginger do gogo,
    While listenin to sexual things on the radio,
    And fornication was my number one sin,
    Why should I commit to one when I can have ten,
    Yeah I hurt myself in the end,
    But it was the only way I knew how to relieve myself,
    From the pain within,
    Yes Lord I have slept with women and men,
    But I’m so sorry,
    I don’t know how to fix it
    When in the end,

    And at the end of the road,
    It’s such a long road home,
    God I don’t know,
    If I can face past pains and hurts,
    As I have to confess,
    Why I don’t wear dresses and skirts,
    Because they were easy access,
    To the privates no less,
    As I was forced to get undress,
    And lay in a bed,
    And pretend that I wasn’t in that mess,
    God I apologize,

    I’m so hurt I think I might make you cry,
    God I,
    Lost myself,
    To the point that I can’t really love,
    I can’t even trust someone,
    I don’t know how
    God I want to cry out loud,
    From the pain,
    That’s why lord I feel like I can’t praise your name,
    My corpus callosum is cut,
    And I’m going insane from my mind
    And it’s a shame,
    That you gave me my name,
    And I can’t say something,
    That should mean something to you,
    man
    And for that reason God I apologize