The Angel Inside

• Artist: Nephylis
• Description: This is a poem I wrote for an online friend who was having trouble branching out and trying new things. She was afraid that her friends wouldn't like her anymore. Here is the result after a night thinking about it.
• Date: 04/27/2009
• Tags:

She could see
The hate in their eyes
The rumors of old, still alive
In her thoughts while she cries
Awake at night
She looks for hope
But all is lost
Nothing left to find
Because everything leads back to you

She's trying so hard to make it
To make it all work out
To make it all make sense
But nothing ever changes
Due to their expense

What she needs is to pass them bye
Transform into an angel and spread her wings
Never to return again.

Comments

[eliouso]

This is very good and to Centralia, Its called free verse.....

[shinitai666]

Good.

[Random_Hugs_R_Great]

i liked it. 4/5

[Nephylis]

Constructive criticism is well accepted, but to be inconsiderate is entirely different. Perhaps it was written when I wasn't as educated. Have you thought of that? I never said I wrote it recently, so why assume that I did? It was written out of emotion, not of the cares for pleasing some grammar queen.

If you just want to judge a piece by the way the words are formed, then what point in posting? Perhaps next time you'll talk about the content - what actually matters.

[CentraliaSG]

This has no structure whatsoever. The number of lines in each stanza is just a haphazard coincidence, and you have absolutely no control over your syllables. The only reason you call this a poem is because you removed the few essentials that would've made it a merely eloquent paragraph, and even that would've fallen short of acceptable.