A haiku

• Artist: Goth Aika
• Description: This is good hopefully...
• Date: 05/07/2009
• Tags: haiku

Darkness engulfs my sole
I see death coming faster
Never to see light.

Comments

[redgamehunter]

It was pretty good other than 2 things:
soul was spelled wrong
haiku's are traditionally about something in nature, and this doesnt quite make the cut. It does show promise however, that you could right a stupendous one.

[Goth Aika]

Haha! Poor, poor emo shoe.

[LilShawty-61]

i think its good u messed up but it still is pretty good
i give it a 4 since its ur 1st haiku

[Goth Aika]

Thanks. It was my first stab at a haiku, so I kinda guessed it wouldn't be great.

[Angel in Wonderland]

This either has had no spelling/grammar check, or is about a the inside of a shoe that is emo because the person wearing the shoes rarely takes them off. Lol
I suppose my veiws on what a good haiku is would be different from most, but I personally dont like this. It doesnt follow the haiku syllable counts, and has no ah-ha moment at the end. A good haiku to me is an unpredictable one. You have to make every line interesting since there are so few. Its eh.