Surfers Prayed the Same

• Artist: Righteous_Roman
• Description: A poem i wrote about a surfer that got a disease. He loved the sport and couldn't help but think about the ocean as he died in the hospital, and how when other surfers heard his story they morned and had empathy.
  enjoy :-)
• Date: 05/11/2009
• Tags: surfers ocean surfer wave tide

I died one day,
Swell swept me away.
Ocean calling my name,
Surfers never knew the same-
Before I shredded,
The disease embedded;
I couldn’t feel cold,
From hot,
From nothing.
I couldn’t see the sun,
Or moon,
Nothing.
The air I breathed,
Was as toxic as my lungs.
And the light I see,
Is the hospital’s.
So when the swell swept me away,
Surfers always wish,
They’ll never know the same.

Comments

[Yureiaa Hearts]

Pretty good, although I couldn't groove myself into your staggering rhythm. It feels too rhythmic to be free-verse, but too choppy to be lyrical. In my opinion.

[24th angel]

really good!

[Olivia Anderson]

good