• evil The truth about Santa… twisted

    It’s a myth you see, on Christmas Eve-
    that Santa brings lumps of coal, not toys
    To all the lil’ bad girls and boys.

    Oh yes it be his gifts are true,
    Unless you’ve been a pest or shrew
    Then young kiddies, be thee bright
    for on this night, at a half past nine’
    On your blackened hearts he’ll dine.

    He devoured the cookies you’d thought
    Might sate his growing hunger as of late,
    But sweet treats-although devine- are hardly
    worth the Jackals time-and are meant only
    To hide the stench of human flesh from
    the good lil’ kiddies who might happen
    to smell his breath, while sitting on his
    wide, wide lap.

    So if perchance you’ve even been a wee bit
    Naughty this long year, best to be sure to
    Keep this little Christmas verse in mind:
    “—He sees you when you’re sleeping,
    He knows when you’re awake-
    He knows when you’ve been bad or good…”
    So for your own safety
    (Lest you wish not to live to see your next Birthday)

    …be good, for goodness sake.

    Merry Christmas, One and All!!