nothing left

• Artist: Kaiuc00
• Description: just what i feel
• Date: 06/25/2009
• Tags: nothing left

Lost in the dark,
Never to find my way out,
Forever missing her,
That peice of my heart,
The one with my soul,
Lost forever,
Giving up the fight?

Why should I stand here,
In front of you all,
Hiding the truth,
I'm broken,
And no one can fix,
What she broke,
No can replace a sold soul!

So here i stand,
Nothing left,
But shards of a heart,
And a hole missing it's soul...

Comments

[Kaiuc00]

thank you for the advice but the commas a just my style not for effect just for looks but thankys for being so kind and helpful

[Taste of a Raindrop]

This is a pretty good poem. You definitely capture what it can feel like to lose the one you love, for whatever reason. The heart is powerful and can recover, but it's always missing a piece with every lost lover.

Some tips:

Do not put a comma after every line unless it is required gramatically. You do not need to add commas for a pause. The line break does that automatically. Also, you didn't spell piece right. Remember this little thing to help you: i before e except after c.

^_^