• Uncontrollable, controlling
    to be able to control what is
    but unable to stop the controlling

    She wakes up to this delima
    every morning
    plans her day, decides her intake
    jogs a mile then gets ready for school
    her mother makes her a bagel for breakfast
    in which she pretends to take with her to school
    one more calories she can control

    she sits down to dinner
    her parents are watching
    she tries to swallow a bite but can't bear to let it go
    maybe just one? she could run it off
    then one becomes 3 and then 10
    she's now in the bathroom
    one more calorie she can't control