• I've been getting ready for Christmas
    I'm revving up for the great day
    my credit card's cracked and my freezer is packed
    'cause I started my shopping in May

    The mistletoe's hanging in bunches
    'cause the odd Christmas kiss isn't wrong
    and the Vicar I've found - quite likes calling round
    and exploring my crowns with his tongue

    The bin men have gotten quite friendly
    they're after a present I fear
    they won't feel so chuffed when I tell them - get stuffed
    'cause they don't speak the rest of the year

    The family is coming for dinner
    last year it was quite a good laugh
    we ate fairly late - dished the veg on the plate
    found the turkey was still in the bath

    the Kids are all pink with excitement
    'cause Santa will come so they say
    their lists are extensive - extremely expensive
    and they'll break it all by Boxing day

    But it's worth all that fuss Christmas morning
    when their little eyes are all aglow
    when we're all feeling merry full of goodwill and sherry
    and suffering from wind Ho Ho Ho

    But please don't forget why we do it
    why each year we must go to this fuss
    for that guy up above who brought peace and brought love
    and who probably owns Toys R Us..........
    3nodding