-
Drive-Thru
Through the window
semi-obscured
By a sign endorsing soda
She drove up
waiting behind a yellow van
in a 1990 junker
He was drinking coke
looking out
looking in
Eyes meet
It seemed to her, as she drove away
It seemed to him, as he looked after
The staff of that restaurant
was entirely too swift
- Title: Drive-Thru
- Artist: Hiraetha
-
Description:
Two fictional characters have a 'moment' at a drive-thru, but it doesn't last.
This is definatly copyright me because its for my creative writing class, but I'm looking for two things from you guys, so please take two seconds to comment
1) What kind of mood/images and stuff does this give you?
2) Any constructive criticism for me? - Date: 09/22/2009
- Tags: drivethru
- Report Post
Comments (1 Comments)
- An Angels Melody - 11/04/2009
- Short, kinda strange, but I get the "Point" you're trying to make out of it so i give you a 4/5
- Report As Spam
- |
- |
-
Submit
