my unknown

• Artist: Hollowhero246
• Description: 5 short writing (don't know if i can call them peoms?)tell me what you think.
• Date: 10/21/2009
• Tags: unknown

1~I've always keeped myself bottled up inside.I want you to show me what it's like to give in to atraction.I wish I had the heart to let you know the light that fills me when your in my hold.you made a connection that started building tensionand has left me wanting more.There is so much I need to say but all I've sayed is good-bye,still afraid to cross the line.I know I've let you pas me bye,I still want you even if its just for one night.I want to open up and show you I am in love with you and before I am gone tell me your in love with me.




2~her darkness wraps around my heart as I let her thorns sink futher in.Ice cold is the poison that she has flowing into my veins when her fangs break the skin.my blood rises at the touch of her lips.she is my devil as I am her gaurdian angel.her darkness is taken my soul,and i will protect her till I've taken my last breath




3~I look into the moon's light wanting to see her one last time.I know I'll die alone, so put me to sleep my dark angel as for to night I will be burning by the flames of my sins. So as I die I will dance with my demons tonight.so give me a kiss before you say good-bye to me, my dark angel for its my final night.





4~this pressence in my soul burning a hole. turning me hollow,engulfing my will to fight.Echos of the emptness scream in my head making me sinking deeper into my daarkness.It,s hunger growing with everday passing by.My skin turning colder then ice my hatred turning me blind and like a knife edge,cutting till I choke. dying with out hope the hunger swollowing my soul and the night closing around me and the darkness forever is my home.




5~look into her eyes there is a story to be told, full of pain an sorrow.but do you dare to look into a place of unkown.onne you've never tread,one you never known.Will you run away or will you be her light and catch her and never let her fall.will you hold her through the rough nights and tell her she will be all right.show her you will go into her darkness and will stay by herside.

Comments

[Danna Amamus]

You have some pretty fierce imagery - but you really should take the time and effort to develop them. Try to expand one out - focus on the little things like spelling, grammar, punctuation, and fully-form it as a concrete thought with action and background (is it raining?), and I'm sure even you'd be impressed with the result!