Untill.....

• Artist: I am Skies
• Description:
• Date: 11/15/2009
• Tags: untill

So you thought
It would be okay
To intoxcate this world
With hate.

Bring it down
Make it shallow
Kill it
with a Poison Arrow.

Our world now seems
like an Poison Apple
that Princess eats.

She fell asleep ,
and so will we.

Maybe its time
to open your eyes
Realise we are filled with
Compromise

How long will it take us
to burn down what He gave us
Untill He sends the flood to shut the flame
of civiliztion

Comments

[Kenya Tsukiko]

Personaly i think its very good and the lay out Is like a poem there are many types of layouts for them i ise i cupple difrent ones myself, including layouts like this. The flow and drift of the poem are very good as well, poison used twice isnt bad becouse reading it an thinking over i dont think theres another word that would have gone in one of thoughs 2 places without messing up the flow and rithom of the poem. All in all 5/5 =) on an please exuse my spelling mistakes lolz

[Suttmann]

dont use the word poison twice, and the layout is not like a poem

[MercurialNight]

Wow, that was really great. I love the underlying theme and flow. 4/5 ^^